Yahoo Sports The Bills are worried a flying sex toy could injure Tom Brady, Josh Allen
NFL teams have so, so much to be worried about when they face the New England Patriots. A collection of lethal weapon headlined by Josh Gordon. The league’s top defense. A perennially strong offensive line. Some guy named Tom Brady.
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However, the Buffalo Bills have even more to fear.
Bills: Please don’t throw a dildo onto the field
The Bills are scheduled to face the Patriots this Sunday, and many observers know what that means. Another dildo potentially thrown on New Era Field.
Over the last three years, all three Patriots-Bills games in Buffalo have seen a dildo thrown onto the field. Once. Twice. Three times. A tradition unlike any other.
Want to see a ref kick a dildo out of the end zone? pic.twitter.com/IkwTxp1ZbM
— Nora Princiotti (@NoraPrinciotti) October 30, 2018
You can understand why the Bills are steeling themselves for a fourth time.
Those worries resulted in some simply incredible quotes given to The Athletic about the looming embarrassment:
“It’s Patriots week,” said Bills chief administrative officer Dave Wheat, “and that we have to contemplate if some fan is going throw a dildo on the field is ridiculous.”
The obvious, and fair, concern about the flying dildos is that there will be children in attendance — Bills tight end Lee Smith lamented that he will have four kids in the stands watching — but the Bills are apparently worried about the wellbeing of the players on the field too:
“What if Josh Allen is running, steps on it and tears his ACL?” Wheat asked. “What are the ramifications? What if Tom Brady got injured?
“This community would never live that down. People need to realize these are professional athletes, and you’re literally putting their health and safety at risk.”
Such a possibility probably isn’t likely, but you never know with the Bills Mafia.
If such a thing happens, you can at least bet on consequences for whomever throws the dildo if caught. Last year’s dildo thrower was charged with disorderly conduct for his behavior and the Bills have banned other offenders for life in the past. However, for some, that might just be the cost of doing what’s necessary.
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