Busted Racquet

Serena Williams raps in a song that rhymes ‘tennis racquet’ with ‘Gucci glasses’ (AUDIO)

Busted Racquet

A hip-hop song featuring a rapping Serena Williams was leaked to TMZ on Thursday night, hours before Serena easily handled Maria Sharapova at the Madrid Open.

Last year, Serena was rumored to be in the studio with famed producer DJ Clue. Is this 60-second track a result of that pairing?

Serena sounds pretty good in her eight bars. Her inflection doesn't sound forced and she appears to be enjoying herself, even when the lyrics get a little hokey.

Let's exegesis this historic track:

I ball hard, no tennis racquet/I can see these haters through my Gucci glasses

Not since Snoop rapped about jail, Long Beach, Dr. Dre and going solo in the opening of "Who Am I? (What's My Name?)" has a rapper announced a presence so forcefully. Who is Serena? She uses a tennis racquet but not when she's balling hard. She has haters and hates on them like Silky Johnson. And she's rich. Gucci rich.

I make hits like battin' practice/Baby, like, 'Serena, is you really rappin'?'

Weird baseball reference there. You wedge in "batting practice" only to rhyme it with "rappin'"?

That's me, thanks for listenin'/schooling all these rappers, they should pay tuition

Which rappers is she schooling? She's definitely talking about Andy Murray and Novak Djokovic, right?

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I make a lot of money but that ain't yo business/you can tell the people I said this

A few lines after boasting of her Gucci glasses and in the same sentence she brags about how much money she makes, Serena tells us her wealth is none of our business. She's got that rap delusion thing down.

I win, I really mean it/Swag out this world, you should call me Venus

In this line, Serena says her "swag" (or style) is "out of this world." How out of this world? Literally! Her swag isn't on Earth, but on an adjacent planet!

That's my sister, my name is Serena/on the court I serve 'em up, no subpoena

Oh, I see what they did there. "Venus" not only represented the planet Venus but Venus Williams, Serena's sister. Smooth, ghostwriter. Smooth. The "subpoena" line is nice. Any rap song from a ballerina, a baby eating Farina, someone wearing a pashmina, a native of Argentina or women named Selina, Alina or Fatina are obligated to rhyme those words. It's a union thing.

I cook the track up like a frozen pizza/beats so crazy it might blow your speakers

Serena cooks her frozen pizza with Auto-Tune?

I ain't never been a loser and I'm always on top: roofer

Only upside of this line: The possibility that Serena tries to bring back the "raise the roof" celebration.

Final thoughts: Serena's not bad. Sure, we could use some darker imagery in the songs but maybe that's for the second single. How about a line like, "When you see me in the hallway, it's best to hide/Shove these balls down your throat to ugly up yo inside." Eva Asderaki and Shino Tsurubuchi could make cameos in the video.

As long as Serena keeps rapping a hobby for now, we're fully behind this endeavor. But she can't leave tennis alone, the game needs her.

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