Ontario lawyer Jim Vigmond had his sights set on the 1967 Stanley Cup Banner during a recent online auction of items from old Maple Leaf Gardens. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one, and it soon skyrocketed out of his price range. (No surprise there. The Leafs have hardly shown signs of procuring another one since.)
Undeterred, however, he bought the next best thing: The dressing room toilet.
After a whopping 49 bids, the most of any of the 112 items up for auction, Vigmond won the right to sit where the greats of Maple Leaf history once evacuated for $5,300.
(That's a ton of money, considering you can watch the present-day Leafs serve up a real turd for about $120.)
As he explains, it's not as bad as it sounds. Vigmond was willing to go as high as $10,000 for what one can only hope he'll refer to as the Punch Bowl. So sure, you could think of it as $5,300 wasted, but isn't it better regarded as $4,700 saved?
Obviously, Vigmond's friends are giving it to him pretty good. From the National Post:
"They thought I had money to burn, and surely there was something that I could have better spent my money on," he said.
"They've got a point. But … it's a part of an icon. I just thought … what a rare piece and just think of all of the people that have spent time contemplating in that dressing room what lies ahead of them."
Vigmond plans on putting the toilet in his sports memorabilia room, where he wants to sit on it, light up a Cuban cigar, open a bottle of 30-year-old single malt, and hopefully, watch a Leafs game sometime soon.
That's really all he's going to do while he's sitting on it? Someone wasn't completely honest...
Let's hope this is the beginning of a deep-seated obsession with hockey's historic crappers.
Think about it: He could get the toilet from the Madhouse on Madison, which Glenn Hall is said to have thrown up into before every game. His collection would be woefully incomplete without the toilet that kept Roberto Luongo from the second overtime of a 2007 playoff game versus the Anaheim Ducks.
If he expands his collection to bathroom paraphernalia, he could go after the white bathroom cabinet from the Summerhill liquor store that Wayne Gretzky signed in 2000.
And he'll definitely have to have that glove from the New England Senior Hockey League. It may not be a bathroom item, but Zung Nguyen sure used it as one, so I say it counts.
Follow Harrison Mooney on Twitter at @HarrisonMooney
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