Ball Don't Lie

Create-a-Caption: Marcin Gortat receives instructions on how to make himself a moose

Dan Devine
Ball Don't Lie

View gallery

.

Give Marcin Gortat your heart. Give him, give him your heart. (Getty Images)

No, not so close together. Spread them out.

No, keep your thumbs together, but move the rest of your hands apart. Like you are making a capital U.

No, wait, actually, that doesn't look right. Keep your hands positioned that way, with your fingers pointing up, but bring your thumbs down to the sides of your head, just above the ears.

That's it. Now you look like a moose, Marcin Gortat. That's terrific.

Now, for the bad news: The New York Knicks just got like 11 uncontested dunks and layups while you were figuring that out. That ought to teach you never to trust moose-hands directions given by me, noted mischief-maker Spike Lee! Muahahahahahahahaha!

Best caption wins a troublesome moose and squirrel. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Jarrett Jack might have gotten a little eager on Andre Iguodala's pump-fake here. Just a little.


View gallery

.

Nobody's happy with what's happening here. (Getty Images)

Winner, Mark: Jarrett Jack just saw "Ong Bak." Close enough.

Runner-up, The Football God: Andre's just glad Jumping Jack didn't flash.

NOTE: Late-'60s Stones references will always be received favorably on Monday mornings. Post-'70s Stones references will be received favorably just about never.

Second runner-up, Jac Pot: Sorry Andre, but Nate Robinson patented this move.

View Comments (29)
  • Bhullar wants to emulate Yao Ming in India

    Bhullar wants to emulate Yao Ming in India

    By Amlan Chakraborty NEW DELHI (Reuters) - Sim Bhullar knows it is going to be a tall order but the first NBA player of Indian descent believes that, like Yao Ming in China, he can trigger basketball frenzy in the country his parents left before he … More »

    Reuters - 23 minutes ago
  • Basketball-Bhullar wants to emulate Yao Ming in India

    By Amlan Chakraborty NEW DELHI, May 7 (Reuters) - Sim Bhullar knows it is going to be a tall order but the first NBA player of Indian descent believes that, like Yao Ming in China, he can trigger basketball frenzy in the country his parents left … More »

    Reuters - 26 minutes ago
  • Rockets ride FTs, strong 2nd half to Game 2 win, draw even with CP3-less Clippers

    Rockets ride FTs, strong 2nd half to Game 2 win, draw even with CP3-less Clippers

    Houston avoided disaster behind 32 points from James Harden and 64 free throw attempts. … More »

    Ball Don't Lie - 49 minutes ago
  • Conley's comeback stirs memories of gritty performances

    Call Mike Conley whatever nickname you prefer. The injured point guard's gritty performance led the Memphis Grizzlies to a 97-90 win in Game 2 over the Golden State Warriors and earned him instant respect from players, coaches and fans across the … More »

    AP - Sports - 54 minutes ago
  • O'Neal tumbles on set of TNT show

    Shaquille O'Neal took quite a tumble during the ''NBA on TNT'' halftime show of the Clippers-Rockets game on Wednesday night. The ex-NBA superstar joked on Twitter that he almost broke his leg and wrote, ''I'm clumsy.'' He also offered $500 for the … More »

    AP - Sports - 59 minutes ago