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No. No I did not get choked up by the beautiful sportsmanship and compassion shown by Abbey D' Agostino and Nikki Hamblin after they both crumpled to the track during the women's 5000 metre race on Day 11. There was some dust floating around in the room when I watched it and it... got in my... eyes... and, yeah. Dust. What? Why are you looking at me like that? No, YOU shut up.
— CBC Olympics (@CBCOlympics) August 16, 2016
Day 12 (August 17th):
Week One at the Olympics, as far as Canada is concerned, belonged to 16-year-old Toronto swimmer Penny Oleksiak. It's possible that Week Two could have a lot of chatter about 18-year-old Smiths Falls, Ontario, native Brooke Henderson. She's already won a golf major this year (The Women's PGA Championship, back in June) and is being touted by more than just a few golf experts as the gold medal favourite. First round women's golf coverage begins at 6:30 am ET on TSN2. Henderson is scheduled to tee off at 8:14 am ET. Get ready, Drake. Could be another Canadian sports star will reach out for tickets to one of your shows. Or not. For all I know, Henderson would rather have tix to see Bieber, or Bruno Mars or Adele or the Broadway show "Hamilton." Or, I don't know... Honeymoon Suite. We'll keep an eye on her Twitter account and get back to you if we need to. Another Canadian, Alena Sharp, is in the field as well and she tees off at 9:25 am ET.
Okay... hang on a second. Gonna stop writing about Day 12 for a moment to catch a little Day 11 action and... ALRIGHT! DEREK DROUIN! NIIIIIICE! Hey, Penny Oleksiak, if your invitation from Drake includes a "plus one," I'd say Derek Drouin's earned it.
Now, back to Day 12:
Did you see Usain Bolt win his 200 metre heat on Tuesday? Guy went jogging, for crying out loud. Jogging. You want to even things up a little? Make Bolt carry somebody on his back or make him carry a shot put in each hand. They have those things just lying around. Say, that's a good idea. We can add even more events to track by getting creative. Three-legged race, backwards run, hammer drag. Anyway, I'll get to the point. The semi's in the men's 200 metre event go on Day 12, with Bolt and his good buddy, Canada's Andre De Grasse, lining up in neighbouring lanes in semi-final number two. Another Canadian, Aaron Brown, goes in the first semi. 9 pm ET, on CBC.
Phylicia George and Nikkita Holder of Canada are into the semi's in the women's 100 metre hurdles. First of those semi's is scheduled for 7:45 pm ET, with George in heat 2 and Holder in heat 3. Should they progress, the final is scheduled for 9:55 pm ET, CBC. Even if they don't progress, the final is scheduled for 9:55 pm ET. Maybe I should have edited that previous sentence rather than adding this new, completely different sentence. Just made more work for myself. There, I did it again.
In Olympic volleyball news, Canada meets Russia in quarter-final play. "Henderson made a wild stab for it and fell... here's another shot! Right in front, they score! Henderson has scored for Canada!" That has nothing to do with volleyball but I never pass up a chance to rub that in when I can. Ha! 9 am ET, perhaps on CBC. I say "perhaps" because it's not listed in the CBC media release for Day 12, but the Canadian Olympic Team website says it's on CBC, so here's hopin'.
Men's decathlon begins on Day 12, with five events scheduled throughout the day. You know, if great, all-round athletes are your thing. Canada's Damian Warner competes and American Ashton Eaton is the defending Olympic champion and world record holder and is also, I'm confident, an honorary Canadian because he wore a hat that said "Canada" on it while his wife, Brianne Thiesen-Eaton was earning a bronze in the heptathlon. Took lots of heat for it, too. So the least we can do is make him our second favourite going in, right? Morning events can be seen on TSN, beginning at 8:30 am ET. Evening events are on CBC starting at 7 pm ET.
There's diving on tap as well, with Canadians Meaghan Benfeito and Roseline Filion taking on the field in the 10 metre platform event. 2pm ET, Sportsnet One.
UPDATE: Click here for the schedule changes announced by CBC after this column was posted.