TVO - Wednesday, May 22, 2024 - 08:00 p.m. (ET) - Segment #4

the demographic in the east end of toronto started to change drastically. It became very diverse in terms of the communities that started to move in here. A lot of black bodies, brown bodies, asian bodies. And with that came this transition in culture where all of a sudden hip-hop started to emerge and become very mainstream popular form of culture and with that came the prominence of the nba and its height with michael jordan, then later on allen iverson and vince carter. So what I started to identify with was this idea of hip-hop culture and shows like I mentioned, home improvement, which were predominantly starting to become replaced by these tv shows like the fresh prince of bel air and martin. And for me, I again started wanted to belong and fasten this aesthetic and identity that I actually had an interest in. I was interested in sports, I delved into hip-hop music, I really found myself reflected in some of the artists and songs that I heard on the radio or my panasonic cd player. So for me that started a shift in terms of me no longer wanting to grow out my hair or maybe it get braids or have a fade with a part in my hair and hopefully one day maybe look more aesthetically like the older black men that I aspired to be. >> Jeyan: you write about these perceived successful roles for black boys being limited to music and sports and a journey you took yourself when you decided to pursue baseball, we won't judge about that but what can you tell us in terms of that of what you saw in yourself that this was a role that life in society are telling me too go in that direction and you did although it was like that growing up? >> Alex: I think there's a reality in which young black males have this unarticulated internalized experience of when they are in places like a school. Almost being subconsciously told how they can be legitimate and ways that they might be an anomaly in. So for instance, through institutions like education and the media and news and tv shows and movies, we see this notion where black males are either in the athlete, or they are the entertainer, rapper, artist, comedian, actor, or, unfortunately, we see them portrayed in movies and in real life when we turn on the news, of being criminals. And it's this idea of growing up where I felt as a young black male, that these were the only avenues to success as a black adult, black male adult. So for me I pursued this path towards athletics because not only did I enjoy athletics, but it was almost as this idea of a self-fulfilling prophecy where you know, I was decently athletic when we played volleyball in gym or floor hockey outside in the wintertime or started to play basketball when the raptors came to canada. But it was almost subconscious in the way that my teachers would validate me like that. They would push me and congratulate me for doing well at a track meet. Where it wasn't like I was getting c's entities, I was getting good grades in grade 4 and 5 in middle school and high school. But when I was getting the good grades, I was treated almost like an anomaly. I will give you an example. I remember a few times actually early on in my high school career maybe grade 9 when I would get a test back and the teacher would ask me questions from the test. And when I got home, I would reflect on that experience and I would ask myself, why did that teacher ask me to reiterate a question that was on the test and I would think, and wonder if she asked anybody else and she didn't. And then it was like this understanding that she was testing me to see if I cheated or to see if I actually remember what the content was on the test. And she didn't say anything. It wasn't this you know, explicit I think you are less than, I don't believe that you're academically inclined but it's these subtle markers of unexpected subtle racism and I do use the word racism and the

words being pigeonholed and stereotyped whereas on the athletic field, on that platform, black boys like me were congratulated and validated and in an academic space we were questioned or considered anomalies. That's just an example of the way I think society in general almost whispers the ways in which black males are allowed to exist. >> Jeyan: in your book, you take us through 8 essays journeying through different parts of your life, different times and in one of them you focus on sort of the role of music particularly hip-hop played for the period to touch on that a little bit. It was great with that essay of the trip to the music store even having explain to your mother that this is what I really want, this is me. Tell me a bit about that. >> Matthew: I remember like that was yesterday. This is when hip-hop was becoming mainstream and I remember that experience that I write about in the essay on music. My mom took me to sunrise records in scarborough right before it ninth birthday I was going into the third or fourth grade and this guy was the biggest most baddest guy that came out and his name was snoop dogg and he had this debut record, his debut album. I'm not going to tell you the title, for the sake of the but let's just say it was explicit in a way a 9 year wouldn't even understand. And my mother when I gave her the tape, she was like, yeah, I don't know if I want to buy you this. And she was mentioning mariah carey and toni braxton and all these other people that she thought I should consider and I told her no, I need this I literally need this. In the book, there's a three line that exists between my relationship with my mother that I think is important. It's the idea of I'm a black male, the world sees me as a black male and my mother is a first-generation canadian white woman. And her ability to not gate keep my blackness, not impede on my experiences in terms of what it was but I wanted to experience in terms of my identity and how I wanted to belong and fit in and represent myself, that there was a prime example I think was important to share. The story alone of the idea of how hip-hop infiltrates our identity and our ways in which we make meaning of ourselves. >> Jeyan: all right throughout high school and into college, football was life. He went into the states on a scholarship and now you're just an educator. I'm curious as to if you could walk us through that journey from these classrooms as student and now a teacher. >> Matthew: displaced to me is a safe haven, so to speak. >> Speaker: look at that little younger. >> Speaker: 98, 99. >> Matthew: we are right... Here. >> Speaker: things have changed. >> Speaker: things have changed a lot my friend. There's a few chapters ago in my life. >> Speaker: how does it feel graduating. >> Jeyan: and also being able to teach at the school. >> Matthew: you know, I used to when I taught here at the end of the first week, I had always ring my class kid I taught in that classroom and I walked my class out here at the end of the week and get them to find me and then kind of tell them that they could talk to me. I've literally been in their shoes. So whatever they are going through, I literally went through it because I grew up and this area. But, yeah, I'm proud to be a son of scarborough, gone here and full circle come back here and working the same community that I grew up in. >> Jeyan: how did that even because that wasn't even on your radar? >> Matthew: know it wasn't at all. If you had told me and its 11th grade at 16 euros old eyed and up becoming a teacher and have a career and education I would ask you, what you had with your lunch. Yeah. And it for me, I always wanted to have a career of athletics obviously preferably playing but even as a sports agent or something in sports management. Again it aligned with this idea of how a males are allowed to exist. And I led towards that path. Up until the point I had an

injury that actually forced me to sit and consider what it was that I wanted to do with my life. I had to get surgery on my shoulder and at that time it was the first time in my life that I came to the realization that I wasn't going to make the nfl and be a millionaire and live this lavish lifestyle. And upon that, I ask myself if money wasn't necessarily a priority, what would I do with my days and the answer when I reflected was you know, I'd love to go back to my old high school and coach the football team. Still lined with sports but more in education and when I applied to the faculty of education a lot of what we did was collecting on our educational experiences and that was the first time I actually reflected on my experience with education as a blackmail. And when I started to reflect, I realized that a lot of my friends and family members were impeded by the school system. So that for me started the trajectory to want to get into education and shattered some of the stereotypes. I originally wanted to get into education and become a phys ed teacher and football coach. But I have a double history in history and make english so I wanted to show up as a teacher who came to an elementary school and taught kids english and taught kids history and look like this in a way to hopefully help the next generation of black boys understand that you don't have to look and exist a certain way to lead a certain lifestyle. >> Jeyan: I would say to that response, the younger you would've said you send like carlton. How do you feel reflecting back on that and sort of food you poke fun at yourself? >> Matthew: that's a great question. The younger me would say to me that I sound like carleton. You know what I would tell the younger me? There's nothing wrong with that. Because blackness and black people don't exist in singularity and I can be carleton and also beat will smith. And just because I sound like carleton doesn't negate my blackness. And in fact I worked hard to sound like carleton. I went to school and --i can sound like carleton or I could sound like whale. And there are days where I look like carleton or will and that doesn't negate anything about my authenticity or of identity. Because being black just like all other races and identities exist within a continuum. I think that's a good message to tell young black people. It's okay to represent and --just because you look a certain way and others perceive you as a certain way that doesn't necessarily mean you have to be rigid with those stereotypes that box you in. I think that's part of shattering that stereotype, looking like this and talking like carleton. I think that's kind of cool, to be honest. >> Jeyan: you talk about in your book the subtle and not-so-subtle instances of racism. Does that impact your teaching style, like do I have to be careful in how I work with black students in my classroom, making sure they do feel safe? >> Matthew: yeah, I think that before I ever decided to get tattoos, the skin that I'm in is already... I wear my politics on my skin and identity on my skin. I think for me representation is something that you can't be on the fence about. I think the idea of being a in education is a political stance and when we look at what exists in education over the last going on for decades at this point, there's clearly still empirical data that suggests there is a gap between black students, namely lack boys and everybody else. So it's important to have leaders, teachers and educators that are able to show up in a way where they are practising what they preach so to say. And their identity is on the line and in line with their work. I'm a strong advocate for equity work inside of education and schools. And every time I show up to do the work, I'm literally and figuratively showing up to do the work. I think also when it comes to representation, I believe and two things paid the first thing I believe in is transparency. When you put students first and you are transparent about that, that is equity work. And the second thing I believe in is being authentic. Trying your best and being humble, yet confident enough to show up as your authentic self.

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