Tori Spelling Recounts Explosive Fight with Dean McDermott That Led to Their Split: 'That Was a Rough Night'

On the second episode of her 'MisSPELLING' podcast, the 'Beverly Hills, 90210' actress told all about the June 2023 argument that effectively ended her 18-year marriage

Tori Spelling is sharing further insight into the pivotal fight she and Dean McDermott had that culminated in her filing for divorce.

Speaking on the second episode of her MisSPELLING podcast that dropped Monday, April 8, the actress, 50, recounted a June 2023 argument that caused McDermott, 57, to post an announcement on Instagram that the pair had split.

It was the continuation of a story Spelling had started on her podcast's debut episode. As she explained there, she and McDermott had spent the day on a shoot with her Beverly Hills, 90210 costar Jennie Garth. But when they got home, they began bickering and while trading insults, McDermott threw a dig at dig at something Spelling says "he knew would really be hurtful to hear."

The actress did not reveal what McDermott said, but recalled on episode 2 that the remark did indeed strike a nerve — so much so that she "smashed" a loaded baked potato she had been making on the kitchen floor in anger. "This guttural scream came out of me," she said. "It was beast-like. It wasn't pretty at all."

From there, Spelling went and locked herself in their home's primary bedroom, where she slept (the two slept in different bedrooms "for like three years," Spelling said, "his choice"). But a “fired up” McDermott started “banging on the door" she had locked before entering the bedroom through an outdoor entrance Spelling had failed to secure.

“He came around the side because I hadn't thought about that, and I hadn't locked those doors," she said. "So he came in and he was very, very upset. And he said, ‘I want a divorce. This is over.’ And I said, ‘Okay. Great. Okay.’ ”

Related: Dean McDermott Claims a Pig in His 'Marital Bed' with Tori Spelling — Plus a Bathroom Chicken — Pushed Him Away

According to Spelling, McDermott had “threatened” divorce “one million times” before then. However, this time McDermott shared a statement on Instagram moments after their fight saying that the couple had decided to go their separate ways.

“It’s with great sadness and a very very heavy heart that after 18 years together and 5 amazing children, that @torispelling and I have decided to go our separate ways, and start a new journey of our own,” he wrote on June 17, 2023.

Spelling didn't see the post until her 15-year-old daughter Stella spotted it. “My daughter found it first and said, ‘Mom, dad just posted on social media that you guys are getting a divorce,' " Spelling said.

Looking at Instagram, Spelling had a surprising reaction: relief.

"I'm not kidding you guys, I felt like this giant rock had been lifted off my chest," Spelling said. "I could breathe deeply, and I was like, 'Oh my God. He said it, so now I'm free.' Like, 'Everything has started, and this, I couldn't do it. And he did it, and now I can move on. He's put it out there, Let's go. Yes. I needed this.' You know? Like, I couldn't do it myself.”

Related: Tori Spelling Says She Hopes to 'Take the Hard Out' of Divorce from Dean McDermott: 'It's Evolving' (Exclusive)

But while Spelling was feeling freedom, the announcement was too much for Stella. “A beat after that, Estella started crying, and she said, ‘No, mom. You're acting like this is a good thing.’ And I was like, ‘No, no no, but I'm just saying,’ and she's like, ‘Do you know how embarrassing my friends have to read this? And then I was like, 'Oh my God. 'And I felt so shamed again. And I was like, 'Oh, no. I didn't think of it that way. I was just like, I'm free.' And she was like, ‘He needs to take this down.’ ”

Spelling agreed with her eldest daughter and called McDermott, who was now in his bedroom, but he wouldn’t pick up.

When Stella reached out, McDermott "wasn't understanding clearly what she was asking and what was happening to everyone around him at that moment,” Spelling said. "He was like, ‘You don't understand. It's been a long time coming. You know, mom and I are gonna co-parent everything.’ And she's like, ‘Dad, you're not understanding. It's not about that. You guys can get a divorce. You should, but you just put it out there publicly before we've dealt with it. That shouldn't be the case.' "

“That was a rough night with the kids," Spelling added.

McDermott ended up deleting the post the next morning, though the split had already made headlines by that point. The two, meanwhile, "just went on as if nothing happened," Spelling said.

An officially divorce filing didn't come until late last month, the same day Spelling recorded episode 1 and 2 of her podcast. She cited irreconcilable differences as the reason behind their split, and listed their official separation date as June 17, 2023, the night McDermott announced their split on Instagram.

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Between that fight and the day McDermott filed, Spelling and their kids — Stella, Liam, 17, Hattie, 12, Finn, 11, and Beau, 7 — moved out of their house and "never went back" (the home had a mold problem, Spelling said, so they "had to get out of the house anyway."). McDermott — who has struggled with alcohol and drug abuse for nearly three decades — packed up the rest of the place before checking into rehab, where he remained for 40-days. He moved into a sober living home in Los Angeles afterwards.

"I'm very proud of him," Spelling said on her podcast of McDermott, who is also dad to son Jack, 25, from his previous marriage to Mary Jo Eustace. I hope for him and for the kids that it sticks. I really do."

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