The top nine reasons the Chiefs should consider moving to Wichita instead of KCK | Opinion

To the people who run the Kansas City Chiefs:

We heard you’re thinking of moving the team from Kansas City, Missouri, to Kansas City, Kansas, after losing a vote on taxes for stadium renovations in KCMO.

Here in Wichita, we’re kind of insulted.

While we’re not Kansas City, we are undeniably a Kansas city — the largest city in the state, by the way.

We’re conveniently located halfway between Kansas City and Oklahoma City, and would very much like to be considered as the next capital of Chief’s Kingdom.

With that in mind, here are the top nine reasons why you should consider Wichita when looking for your team’s new home.

Stadium renovation already underway

Wichita State University is right now rebuilding its Cessna Stadium. It’d be a snap to upsize it to NFL standards, although you might have to work the project around the state high school track meet. Meanwhile, you can use our Riverfront Stadium. It’s a baseball park, but we call it “multi-use” because it also hosts high school football games. Trust me, if we can handle the McPherson versus Buhler rivalry, Chiefs versus Bengals would be a parlor trick. Riverfront only seats 10,000, but it’s new and a lot like the stadium the Chargers played in while waiting for SoFi Stadium to get built when they moved from San Diego to Los Angeles. It’s all about the TV revenue anyway, right?

Performing arts

You probably already know this, but Wichita is home to the historic Century II Performing Arts Center. We just finished painting the roof Chargers blue, but we’d be happy to repaint it Chiefs red. It’s the least we could do.

You might see Harrison Ford

Yes, you read that right — the man who brought us classic characters like Indiana Jones, Han Solo and the street racer guy (1973 spoiler alert) who wrecked his car in “American Graffiti.” Ford comes here on the regular. He has a private plane that he flies to Wichita for servicing. And it’s a local tradition to follow him around town whenever he’s here, noting in great detail where he eats and who he meets. He’s totally cool about it, so it’d be no problem if Patrick Mahomes or Travis Kelce asked him to pose with them for a selfie.

Pickleball

Wichita is on the path to become the capital city for America’s fastest-growing sport. We raised a spot sales tax to provide $2.3 million to developers of our Chicken N Pickle restaurant, and underway is a $3 million pickleball tournament complex in south Wichita (which was supposed to be $6 million, but less said about that the better). Do you have promising rookies you’re looking to stash? They could become professional pickleballers to pick up a few bucks and stay in shape until a roster spot opens up.

Koch Industries

Wichita is home to one of the biggest private corporations in the world and the guy who owns it, Charles Koch, has more money than God. If you ask nicely, he could probably dig around in his couch cushions and come up with a billion dollars or two for your stadium. The Kochs like to put their names on stuff, so they’d probably want to change the team name to the Koch City Chiefs. Hidden upside there is that you could keep the current KC logo on your helmets.

Multimodal transit

We’re building a giant parking garage for our baseball park. To get federal money for it, we’re calling it a multimodal hub for our “transit system,” which seems to consist of about 100 noisy bicyclists, a handful of buses, a fleet of electric rental scooters and an Amtrak stop only 27 miles away in Newton. Wherever we put your stadium, your fans could park at the “hub” and rent scooters to ride to the games.

No smog checks

Except when the farmers are burning off fields, we’ve got really good air quality here, (mostly because it’s usually windy so all our smog blows to Kansas City). We don’t have emissions or safety inspections on our cars, so if you can buy it, you can drive it. That’s a savings of at least $36 over Missouri, plus whatever the crooked mechanics there are charging you to bring your vehicles into compliance.

The Steven brothers

Need a new or used car, a meal, tickets to a water park for the kids, a high-stakes poker game, or pretty much anything else? Our famous local entrepreneurs Rodney and Brandon Steven got you covered. They’d no doubt also cut you a sweet deal on memberships at Genesis Health Clubs, eliminating the need for expensive team-owned training facilities.

Harrison Butker would fit right in

‘Nuff said.

Interested?

Contact Wichita Mayor Lily Wu, C/O City Hall, 455 N. Main, Wichita, KS 67202.

Tell her Dion sent you.

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