Tom Brady is signing autographs for $1,000, so crack open that college fund

For a certain slice of the country, love of Tom Brady supersedes love for one’s own children, love for food, love for oxygen. And now, Brady and a memorabilia dealer are putting a price on that love.

TriStar Memorabilia is hosting a private signing for Brady, and as long as you’ve got the coin, you get the benefits. How much coin, you ask? Well, grab your wallets, because even reading this list will cost you twenty bucks:

• Signed 8×10 photo: $849
• Signed mini-helmet: $899
• Signed football: $999
• Signed helmet: $1,099
• Signed jersey: $1,199

Oh, but that’s not all! Want to get Brady to write something special on your thousand-dollar football? He’ll do it! “5x Super Bowl Champ” will cost you $399. “4x Super Bowl MVP” is a relative bargain at $299. “16-0, 07,” for those Patriots fans still in denial, is also $299. (Only one inscription per item, moneybags.) And if you want Brady to inscribe something personal, why, that’s $499, but twenty characters only! “I will my fortune to [NAME]” presumably won’t fly, but maybe “The Falcons deserved to win” would. Who knows? Give it a try!

Anyway, Brady won the Super Bowl, so he deserves the spoils. We’re just happy good things are finally happening for the guy.

[Autographed helmet tip to Sportress of Blogitude]

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Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports and the author of EARNHARDT NATION, on sale now at Amazon or wherever books are sold. Contact him at jay.busbee@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter or on Facebook.