Sorting through UNC and NC State’s very bad football weekend. Who had it worse?

There’s an old saying longtime readers of these weekly words have seen a time or two, and it goes something like this: The best part about being a North Carolina or N.C. State football fan is that, as bad as it might get for your own team, you can always take joy in the misfortunes of the other.

And it’s true. For both the Tar Heels and Wolfpack, major moments of football triumph have been rare, indeed, over the years. Championships of any kind have been even rarer. State hasn’t won the ACC since 1979. Carolina hasn’t won it since 1980.

But how many times in the intervening years have both programs given hope to their beleaguered supporters, only to have those hopes come crashing? A lot. And so a familiar cycle has emerged, ebbs and flows and, ultimately, endless disappointments.

And throughout it all, both UNC and State fans have always had each other to laugh at, taking turns in mocking the other’s misery, and finding happiness in their rival’s defeats. And that had to be among the most difficult things about Saturday for both State and Carolina supporters:

They couldn’t even make fun of each other.

There could be no joy for UNC fans in N.C. State’s humiliating 59-35 defeat at Clemson, because the Tar Heels themselves suffered through their own kind of embarrassment during a 70-50 defeat against James Madison. And there could be no joy for State fans in that UNC loss, because of the Wolfpack’s own ineptitude.

And so we were left with sort of a black hole, cataclysmic kind of college football Saturday — the universe folding in on itself, stars exploding, dogs and cats living together, “mass hysteria!” to quote Ghostbusters. Or, really, maybe just another very bad afternoon for the state’s two most prominent college football programs.

And folks, it was bad. Really bad. All-timer bad.

There have been plenty of bad football weekends before for State and UNC, but how many of them saw this kind of carnage? Both of these games were pretty much over at halftime. Both of them included horrific first quarters — State trailing 28-0 at Clemson and UNC surrendering 25 points against the Dukes during the first 14 minutes at Kenan Stadium.

That these games were happening in parallel to one another, with both having kicked off around noon, added to their haunting mystique. They were like two car crashes on opposite sides of a divided highway. It’s impossible not to slow down and look, but where do you direct your gaze? How can you take in the entire scene at once? Or is it best to just look away and keep it moving?

Yes, maybe that’s best, after all. Avert your eyes.

The obvious question after such a catastrophic weekend of football for these schools is who had it worse? And in a vacuum, the answer would be obvious: UNC. The Tar Heels, after all, lost to a lower-level opponent — one in just its third season of FBS football — in blowout fashion. It would be difficult to find a way to give up 70 points using a shorthanded defense, or during a non-tackle scrimmage, but the Tar Heels managed to surrender that many points just fine.

It was a disaster, indeed, but the comparison as to which defeat was worse cannot happen in a vacuum. Context is important. And, in context, N.C. State’s defeat at Clemson was just as bad and a case could be made that it was the more odorous of these Saturday stinkers. Consider, after all, that the Wolfpack entered this season as a dark horse contender for the College Football Playoff, and as a legitimate contender to win the ACC for the first time in more than 40 years.

There was all of that considerable hype, and then there was the colossal let down of a loss against Tennessee, in a game decided by 41 points. Surely, the Wolfpack wouldn’t follow up that debacle in Charlotte a couple of weeks ago with another non-show kind of performance at Clemson, right? Right? Surely, at the very least, State would look prepared from the get-go, and give itself a chance by hanging around for at least a little while, right?

Well, Clemson scored on a 55-yard touchdown about 90 seconds in and, after 13 minutes or so of game time, the Tigers led 28-0. It was 52-7 early in the third quarter before Tigers coach Dabo Swinney decided to give his starters some rest, and treat the rest of the game like an exercise in ball control and clock-running. So with all that context then, yes — maybe State offered the more calamitous performance.

But you can take your pick, really.

What’s indisputable: The Wolfpack is nowhere close to where everyone thought it’d be. The grand foray into the transfer portal has been a flop. There’s a lot of soul-searching to be done there. And in Chapel Hill, well — can’t help but feel like Saturday was a pivotal moment, and not in a good way, in Mack Brown’s second head coaching tenure.

ONE BIG THING

Duke saved the Triangle from a football apocalypse, and did so with a convincing 45-17 victory against Middle Tennessee. Are the Blue Devils ... good? Like, legitimately good? Support for this theory continues to grow. Maalik Murphy appears to be settling in nicely at quarterback. That’s back-to-back 100-yard rushing performances now for Star Thomas, who’s living up to the name. And the defense ranks among the top 20 nationally in allowing a stingy 259 yards per game.

THREE TO LIKE

1. The aforementioned Blue Devils.

Not a lot to love among the North Carolina teams this week, but the Blue Devils are proving that, yes, it is possible for Triangle-based college football team to play the sport well and look competent doing so. No, the schedule hasn’t been all that challenging. But still: 4-0 is 4-0.

2. Well, hmmm ... let’s see. Basketball season is growing closer?

Depending on how things progress in Raleigh and Chapel Hill over the next two to three weeks, and whether Duke can keep its burgeoning momentum, we may be on track for a particularly early symbolic start to college basketball season. At UNC, some folks might just be ready to skip ahead to it already. N.C. State desperately needs to beat Northern Illinois to stave away hoops season for at least a little longer.

3. So bad it’s good?

There’s nothing more boring than being just mediocre-bad, and plodding along and losing in respectable fashion. If you’re going to be bad then, by golly, be bad! Embrace the stink. State and UNC did a marvelous job of this on Saturday. The Tar Heels set records for futility. State was down four touchdowns while some people were still making their way to their seats. That’s how it’s done.

THREE TO ... NOT LIKE AS MUCH

1. The state of football in North Carolina.

Is there another state with more bad football happening in it than North Carolina right now? There’s the Panthers, whose brand of terrible defies description and stretches the utility of the English language. But outside of Duke, it hasn’t been good for the college teams, either. State, UNC, ECU, Appalachian State, Wake Forest ... a lot of “not good” there.

2. UNC’s defense.

But no, really, why are the Tar Heels so cursed defensively? The head coaches change. The defensive coordinators change. The defense remains horrid. UNC allowed 611 yards and 70 points on Saturday against a team that scored 13 points the week before, against Gardner-Webb. How is that possible? This isn’t a rhetorical question, either. Like in a literal sense: how is that possible?

3. Rough times in Boone.

Go ahead and get in your roastings about what was once labeled in this space as “the best program in the state.” App State doesn’t look like it these days, does it? The Mountaineers have gone from good to eh to uh-oh the past few years under Shawn Clark, and you have to wonder to what degree the patience is starting to wane, especially after a 48-14 loss against South Alabama. No bueno in Boone.

THIS WEEK’S BEST PROGRAM IN THE STATE

Is Duke! Again! Manny Diaz continues to collect the hardware early in first season with the Blue Devils. No, they haven’t really played anybody of note yet, but who would’ve guessed that Duke would look like the far more stable, steady program entering its game against North Carolina this weekend? One of those programs looks to be in upheaval, and it’s not the one in Durham.

CAROLINAS RANKING

1. Clemson (OK, Tigers, we’re sorry we doubted you); 2. Duke (by default, more or less); 3. South Carolina (South Carolina at 3? Sure); 4-9. Some listing of App State, Coastal Carolina, ECU, N.C. State, Wake Forest and UNC. Just pick them out of a hat, and there’s a decent enough chance it’ll be close enough. 10. Charlotte (sorry, 49ers).

FINAL THOUGHTS, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

•I think as sad as it is to think about, the past couple of years have really been kind of a Triangle football nirvana, with Duke, State and Carolina all pretty good. This season is looking like a regression back to the mean.

•I think the grumblings about Dave Doeren among some segments of State fans are misplaced. Chances are, State would be worse off with a coaching change. Doeren has proven his ability to win and field competitive teams. It’s worth pondering, though, whether relying on the portal to this extent is the correct formula.

•I think the writing is on the wall, as they say, for Mack Brown’s second stint at UNC. Can you come back from giving up a 70-burger against a small lower-level school named after a founding father? It’s possible. Shoot, anything is possible. Likely? That’s a different story.

•I think a lot of these schools need to think long and hard about what they want to be in football in this new and quickly-changing era of college athletics. The gap between the Clemsons and Tennessees and States and Carolinas of the sport isn’t ever getting any smaller. It’s only going to grow. Do schools with a limited history of success stay on the hamster wheel to try to keep up? And if so, why?