Six reasons Jaromir Jagr is an actual hockey Jedi

Jaromir Jagr is now second all-time in NHL points, notching No. 1,888 with an assist against the Boston Bruins on Thursday night. (What an awkward time it must have been for Boston fans to see a beloved former Bruin accomplish this feat for another team.)

The Florida Panthers forward is 44 years old, but also timeless. His dominance stretches through multiple eras in the NHL – firewagon, trap, NHL 2.0 – and through multiple franchises, even if 1,079 of his points came with the Pittsburgh Penguins.

He sometimes seems less a player, than a force. You know, like he’s an energy field created by all living things, surrounding us and penetrating us (ew), binding the galaxy together …

Which is why Jaromir Jagr is a hockey Jedi.

Here are six reasons why the Force is strong in Jaromir Jagr, The Second Greatest of All-Time.

1 – Training, You Must Have

Whether it’s running through the swamps of Dagobah with a puppet strapped to your back or running the stairs of NHL arenas, Jedi must be in peak physical and mental form in order to thrive.

To that end, Jagr’s dedication to fitness is second only to Chris Chelios for its legendary status in the hockey world – inspiring younger players to work harder, and generally making other 44 year olds feel worse than when they spilled that bowl of popcorn on the carpet because they dozed off watching ‘SNL.’

2 – He Was The Padawan To Another Jedi

Once he was the apprentice, but now Jagr is the master.

And who know what impact seeing his master struck down had on Jagr, as Mario was hooked and slashed and prodded and poked by hundreds of enemies. A garage league, it was.

We’re just happy that Jagr became the Jedi that he is.

Sometimes a padawan turns out to be Luke.

And sometimes he turns out to be Anakin:

3 – Selflessness

“Power, fame or fortune we seek not. A Jedi is concerned about the welfare of others, rather than personal gains, benefits, feelings or interests.” – Jedi Code

Well, two out of three ain’t bad for Jagr. It’s not like he hasn’t been making career decisions based on a location’s income tax status since he jumped to the KHL …

[Facebook: Looking at Jagr’s record-setting career]

But power and fame were on the backburner for Jagr as his career wore on, as he admitted that he cared much more about the fortunes of his team and teammates than any personal gain.

“When you’re too old, you appreciate the game. You’re happy, and you do everything just to survive the game. When you’re too young, you’re excited and you’re very good, but you don’t know how good you are. But when you’re mid-age, I think you become more selfish and think about yourself. And we don’t have those middle guys,” said Jagr of the Panthers, last season.

Quite the quote. Which brings us to …

4 – Impenetrable Whimsical Speech

Spend 10 minutes in a locker room with Jagr and you’ll hear an Obi-Wan-like wisdom mixed with self-deprecation. Jagr is a winking sage. To wit:

“For me, it is the worst kind of sacrilege if you are given some of special talent and you don’t take advantage of this gift.”

“I don’t know where I’m going to play, but I want to still play until I can’t walk anymore. To me, age is nothing. I don’t get old. I don’t know why. You’ve gotta ask God, man.”

“It’s like somebody got really, really fat and then one day they lose four pounds. You’re still not going to see it (at first), but if you set up the goal that he’s going to lose 100 pounds in three months, he can do it. He has to work day by day. I think that’s the thing to do, the easiest way to do it.”

From a certain point of view …

5 – His Abilities As a Swordsman

The lightsaber is the weapon of the Jedi. So to is the hockey stick for Master Jagr:

Mario might still be the greatest marriage of size and skill in a modern day hockey player, and Peter Forsberg isn’t too far behind. But Jagr also had that ability to skate down the wing like a freakin’ comet and dangle the living hell out of defensemen.

Of course, the wheels get worn at some point. Which is why a Jedi must have …

5 – An Ability To Adapt Tactics

Young Jedi are impulsive, going off to fight Vader before they’re ready. But as they age, they learn patience. They learn new techniques. They learn enough to when the time comes to face him again, they’re more than prepared to win the fight. (Provided their father picks up an old man shooting lightning out of his fingers and plunges him down a reactor chute.)

Jagr used to be a dominant player who used speed and skill to his advantage. As he got older and slower, Jagr modified his game to be almost like an NBA forward – posting up on defenders, using his lower-body strength to win puck battles in the corner and be an immovable force around the net.

We’ve always marveled at the way legendary players go from playing one way to playing another, and still finding a way to be dominant. (Steve Yzerman comes to mind.) Jagr is a prime example.

OK, one more:

Absolutely majestic hair.

So there you go: Six reasons why Jagr is an absolute Jedi. Completely ignoring that path to the dark side he experienced while playing with the Washington Capitals and his obvious lack of Jedi-like celibacy.

Congrats to Jaromir Jagr. If we had a medal, we’d have Leia give it to you in a grand ceremony. Just don’t tell Chewbacca that he inexplicably doesn’t get one, too.

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Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

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