The Rangers Need Non-Skid Auto Tires As They Slide Down The Slippery Slope

You can't win 'em all. Trouble is that the reeling Rangers can't even win a little.

When they waltzed into St.Louis yesterday, they knew that the turkey that is the Blues was there for the taking.

They already fired the coach. They started a goalie you never heard of who's making about one-tenth of one percent of Shesterkin's young fortune and still beat our Beloved Heroes, 3-2.

And if that looks close, go buy yourself an electron microscope. It wasn't. St. Louis ran up a 3-0 lead, took a siesta and awoke to find that New York had scored twice.

"Okay, boys," they said, "let's shut the door on these imposters and go get dinner!"

The Blueshirts lost because they thought offense meant disorderly retreat.

Not that our aging goalie was flawless. When a team like the Blues take 24 shots we expect Big Jon Quick to stop at least 22 of them not 21.

What's happening is that the more the Rangers lose, the more daffy their explanations.

Not So Wee Willie Cuylle who scored one of New York's two third period goals, offered this incredible lesson from Hockey 101.

"We gotta play a full game," Cuylle explained, "and we weren't able to tonight."

Hasn't Willie – one of the almost extinct breed of Ranger hustlers – told his bunkmates that a full game also includes periods one and then period two?

How come night after night after night we hear the same post-game booshwah from guys who once played firewagon hockey and now look like a bunch of skating three-toed sloths?

They're in Music City tomorrow night to face Nashville's Humpty Dumpties.

"There are two points to be had by taking the Preds," says The Old Scout, "but, for a change, the Rangers gotta show some fight and play a three-period game."

That's not asking too much; you would think, wouldn't you?

But we're talking Rangers, a team that has defied credulity and fallen from a Presidents' Trophy right down to and under the NHL landfill!