Puck Lists: Ranking every NHL Trade Deadline deal

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Well folks you know what it is. This deadline was awful, so let’s just get right into it:

Shane Harper for Reece Scarlett

These are made-up names I am very sure of that.

Joe Whitney for Brendan Ranford

I hate that I technically have to list this trade.

Daniel Catenacci for Mat Bodie

I have heard of Mat Bodie, but I don’t remember why or anything.

Joe Cannata for Cody Corbett

The Caps are loading up on goalies!!!!!

Adam Wilcox for Mike McKenna

Another minor-league goalie trade. Why are you all doing this to me?

Jarome Iginla for a conditional fourth

Ah man, I wanted Iginla to win a Cup.

Steve Ott for a 2018 sixth-round pick

I have no idea why you want to trade for Steve Ott but I guess if you want to there’s not much you can offer that’s of lower value than a sixth next year. But a team with Ott and Andrew Shaw at the same time? Gross.

Kyle Quincey for Dalton Prout

Two guys who can’t play.

Teemu Pulkkinen for future considerations

Why not roll the dice for free if you’re Arizona? Any trade with future considerations is by definition extremely good.

Jordie Benn for Greg Pateryn and a fourth

I have no real opinion on this trade other than it exists and that’s not offensive to me, personally.

Sven Andrighetto for Andreas Martinsen

They have 15 points between them. That’s a nice round number.

But here’s the thing: Why would Montreal do this? Andrighetto seems like a solid depth defender. Martinsen is one of the worst players in the league. It’s like the Habs are tanking. Why would they do this?

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Teemu Pulkkinen for future considerations

Why not roll the dice for free if you’re Arizona? Any trade with future considerations is by definition good.

Dwight King for a 2018 conditional fourth

Why are the Canadiens acquiring these depth players who fight? What’s the point? They’re bad and there’s no fighting in the playoffs. I honestly don’t understand the vision here. Maybe there isn’t one. Maybe that’s the point. Poor Claude Julien.

Justin Fontaine for Taylor Beck

Okay.

Lauri Korpikoski for Dillon Heatherington

Lauri Korpikoski is only 30? Feels like he’s been around forever. He’s a 25- to 30-point player so that’s gonna not make a difference.

Martin Hanzal, Ryan White, and a fourth for a first, a 2018 second, a 2019 conditional fourth, and another conditional pick

I like that the Wild are pushing their chips in to go for it with what has unequivocally been a good group to this point. But Martin Hanzal’s not gonna move the needle this much for you, is he? I don’t think so. He’s good and the Wild could use a little more forward depth.

But like, if you’re giving up all these assets, why not go get Matt Duchene instead? Your chances to win a Cup probably aren’t getting any better after this season given that PDO and especially Dubnyk’s performance. Duchene might get you over the top. Hanzal probably doesn’t.

Nice for the Coyotes, though. Why not?

Curtis Lazar and Mike Kostka for Jyrki Jokipakka and a second

Lazar might straighten it out since he’s only 21, but it also seems like he is not very good at the NHL level. One assist in 33 games this year? That’s not just an ice time issue. And hey, if the Flames don’t like him, they can just expose him this summer.

But hey like how on earth is Lazar worth a mid-second while PA Parenteau is only worth a sixth? I feel like I’m dying.

Johnny Oduya for Mark McNeil and a 2018 conditional fourth

With Niklas Hjalmarsson on the shelf for at least a little while, this makes some sense. Seems like the familiarity Chicago obviously has with him was a factor here as well.

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Mark Streit for a 2018 fourth

Shout out to the Bolts for being the go-between for a Flyers/Penguins trade. Streit can’t play much any more but that blue line is so banged up that this is just kinda what they had to do. The cost was awful low (for a reason).

At least the Pens are only paying 45.3 percent of his salary.

Viktor Stalberg for a third

Shout out to the ‘Canes for getting a seventh pick in the first three rounds of this year’s draft. Stalberg is fine for the Senators too. But like I said the other day, why are Burrows and Stalberg your adds so far?

Drew Stafford for a conditional sixth

Well, the Jets made a deadline trade. This is the answer to a trivia question. That’s just about it. Stafford is having a horrible year.

Ben Bishop and a fifth-round pick for Peter Budaj, Erik Cernak, a seventh-round pick and a conditional pick

Not really sure why the Kings felt the need to do this, other than (as I said in this week’s PDPR) as insurance in case Jonathan Quick can’t play. Hard not to like the deal from the Lightning’s point of view because they wanted the cap space, but this also feels like they held onto him too long.

Brian Boyle for Byron Froese and a second

I love this trade for the Leafs. Boyle really solidifies a not-deep-enough forward group and takes some of the defensive pressure off the kids and all that stuff. Good in the room! I mainly just like Boyle as a player.

David Desharnais for Brandon Davidson

Desharnais isn’t exactly playing super-great these days and I wouldn’t have thought he Oilers needed another center, but I guess it’s worth the gamble that he returns to being a good third-line forward.

I also like Davidson a lot as a depth defenseman, which isn’t something the Oilers should really be giving away, but sure. He wasn’t a big part of their future plans.

Frank Corrado for Eric Fehr, Steve Oleksy and a fourth

Little Frankie is free! And the Penguins needed a defenseman. From the Leafs’ point of view, they probably wanted Fehr’s right-hand draw ability. Decent amount to give up for one player, but everyone seems to think Corrado can play and the Leafs were misusing him and so on. Not bad for the Pens. Fine for the Leafs since they weren’t gonna use Corrado anyway.

Jannik Hansen for Nikolai Goldobin and a conditional fourth

This one depends on your perspective. If you’re the Canucks, this is a great trade. If you’re the Sharks? Probably not that wise. Goldobin is 21 and is nearly a point a game in the AHL this year. Hansen’s 30, can’t stay healthy, and has six goals in 28 games. I mean, the Sharks need to Go For It with this group but c’mon.

Alex Burrows for Jonathan Dahlen

This one also depends on your perspective. It seems like Jim Benning ripped off two teams this week. Strange. Unbelievable, really.

Valtteri Filppula, a fourth and a conditional seventh for Mark Streit

Yeah, see, the Bolts are offloading guys with big contracts for next season. Filppula is a 40- or 45-point guy but he also has a $5 million ticket for next year. That’s a top-six forward but they couldn’t like the money. The Flyers also get that top-six forward for basically nothing. Lots to like here for both sides.

Brendan Smith for a third and a 2018 second

Smith is a good-ish young defenseman and the Rangers didn’t really give up a ton to acquire him. After losing out on Shattenkirk, you might argue they overpaid, but honestly they need to Go For It as long as Henrik Lundqvist is still effective.

P.A. Parenteau for a sixth

How is this the only return for Parenteau? He’s a very good middle-six forward. This is highway robbery from David Poile. Good lord.

Thomas Vanek for Dylan McIlrath and a conditional third

I can’t believe this is all the Wings got for Vanek, who’s having a whopper of a season at 5-on-5 in particular. He provides real depth punch for a Panthers team that’s playing great hockey all of a sudden.

McIlrath is basically an AHL/NHL tweener at this point, and the third-round pick isn’t a big expense either.

Kevin Shattenkirk and Pheonix Copley for Zach Sanford, Brad Malone, a first and a 2019 conditional second

Everyone benefits here. The Blues get a guy they apparently really wanted in Sanford, they get a late first, they get a conditional second. They also don’t lose Shattenkirk for nothing. Pretty good.

Meanwhile the Caps get back a defenseman everyone in their division really wanted (and boy he looked G-R-E-A-T for the Caps on Tuesday night in a tough divisional matchup) and a goalie prospect they apparently didn’t want to give up in the Oshie trade in the first place. This is the time for the Caps to Go For It and this is a trade that realllllllllllllllly helps them do that.

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Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.