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Premier League 2016/17: Our alternative end of season awards

Sports Staff
The winner of the John Terry award for services to being John Terry, in memory of the late John Terry: Getty
The winner of the John Terry award for services to being John Terry, in memory of the late John Terry: Getty

Another Premier League season has come to an end and only the major cup finals are left to play, leaving us with nine months of football to reflect on.

But we already know the player of the year, we know who the manager of the season is. What about those who deserve the 'alternative' awards?

Here are our stand-out moments from a largely forgettable season...

Headline of the season

Sam Allardyce wants the FA to investigate Watford mascot Harry the Hornet

Beverage of the season

Sam Allardyce’s pint of wine

A wonder of nature, imbibed during the undercover investigation by The Daily Telegraph which led to Allardyce losing his job as England manager.

Quote of the season

Sam Allardyce

Allardyce, again and as part of the same undercover investigation, on Prince Harry: “He’s a naughty boy, very naughty. He shows his bottom and all sorts.”

Discovery of the season

Sam Allardyce dressed as Cheryl Cole

The John Terry award for services to being John Terry, in memory of the late John Terry

John Terry

Most quotable ‘Fan TV’ rant

Our Title Hopes Are DEAD!!! (Troopz Rant)


A category of many candidates but with one clear winner. ‘Troopz’ had a Fan TV year akin to Andy Tate's virtuosic 2014, establishing himself as the authoritative voice on Arsenal’s latest shellacking.

His display at the King Power on the second weekend of the season set the tone, but the highlight came after December's defeat at Manchester City, featuring among the 'blud' and 'fams': “You know how bad it is, last night I was chatting to my mum. My mum’s ‘Wenger In’. Is she mad?”

Most exasperated post-match interview

We could have picked several different Guardiola interviews, but this one topped all.

Most resourceful use of precious fossil fuels

The Arsenal plane fly-overs

Most expressive face

David Moyes

Best photograph

Bastian Schweinsteiger coming on for Anthony Martial while Rui Faria gives Wayne Rooney a biscuit

Or is it a water bottle?

Refereeing display of the season

Mike Dean’s 'deplinthing' of the ball at St Mary’s

Honourable mention goes to a Mr M Dean of the Wirral for his ‘no-look’ yellow card to Ross Barkley in the season’s first Merseyside derby.

Tweet of the season

Victor Anichebe's copy-and-paste-straight-from-the-press-officer's-email-after-a-dreary-defeat contribution

Outstanding contribution

Wayne Shaw

Many of us, when looking back on the 2016/17 season, will see one defining image. It will be a substitute goalkeeper stood on a touchline in south London, safe in knowledge his services will not be needed that night, devouring a meat and potato pasty.

Wayne Shaw's light burned twice as bright and for half as long. His decision to eat the pasty, thereby allowing one bookmaker to pay out on a novelty bet and gain a tonne of publicity in the process, was a stupid one. His post-match revelation that several of his friends had backed the wager was even more daft.

All in all, it was a regrettable incident deserving of an investigation from the relevant authorities, but it should not have resulted in somebody losing their job, at least not before such an investigation had been carried out. A reminder, more than anything, that sport sometimes should not be taken too seriously.