Patrik Laine’s appalling chin blanket has had a good run.
Since an early-season bet with a cousin over who could grow a better beard (the metrics which define ‘better’ are widely debated), the scraggly collection of facial hair welded to the 20-year-old’s jaw helped Laine post 44 goals — many of the highlight-reel variety — and stay completely healthy as he played every game for the Jets’ during his sophomore season.
Unfortunately for the superstitious types, but quite fortunate for anyone else forced to lay their eyes upon this travesty night after night, the infamous throat jacket will be gone on Friday.
— Tim Campbell (@TimNHL) May 22, 2018
It’s hard to pin-point exactly why this beard is so bad, it’s just a case of “when you know, you know.” Something about the weird mix of straight and curly hairs combined with the uneven distribution of follicles, and a jaw line that will make your grandmother cry just doesn’t interact very well with the ol’ eye balls.
Whichever barber ends up slaying the savage beast living upon Laine’s face deserves some kind of medal — a true unsung hero.