Yahoo Sports MLB Power Rankings: Chicago is the center of the world
Deep-dish pizza for everybody…
The rankings (records through Wednesday):
1. Chicago Cubs (25-8; Previous: 1) – Lester and first base not unlike America (the country, not the beer) and gluten-free fare; ignore it long enough, maybe it’ll go away.
2. Chicago White Sox (23-12; Previous: 3) – Sox gear up for July showdown with Cubs by ordering party tables, folding chairs and Michael Bolton mix tape.
3. New York Mets (21-12; Previous: 4) – Conforto the son of a linebacker and synchronized swimmer. Presumably does very well in the annual football pool.
4. Washington Nationals (21-13; Previous: 2) – Thinking baseball is a lot more fun with a massive endorsement deal.
5. Baltimore Orioles (20-12; Previous: 5) – Resemblance to old actor means Joey Rickard has earned nickname “James Dean.” Also had part in movie remake, AL East of Eden.
6. Boston Red Sox (21-13; Previous: 11) – Locals can’t decide if Red Sox are great, awful or mediocre. Maybe another beer will help.
7. Seattle Mariners (21-13; Previous: 12) – After difficult first month that seemed he was playing against the wind, Seager reminds himself, hey, we’ve got tonight.
8. Texas Rangers (20-15; Previous: 10) – Well, maybe Elvis wasn’t dead after all.
9. Pittsburgh Pirates (18-15; Previous: 8) – Very cool of Clint Hurdle to honor Mother’s Day with pink face.
10. St. Louis Cardinals (18-16; Previous: 9) – Aledmys Diaz, hitting close to .400, pronounces first name, “Ted.”
11. Philadelphia Phillies (19-15; Previous: 21) – Phillies like to think of run differential as the curtains in a ’74 Dodge van: nice, but don’t affect the gas mileage.
12. Miami Marlins (18-15; Previous: 23) – Marlins, just to be on safe side, also wary of Zima virus.
13. Cleveland Indians (16-15; Previous: 20) – More than a month in, Indians trying to find themselves. Three times now have checked coat pockets.
14. Toronto Blue Jays (18-18; Previous: 16) – Jays’ offense has gone south. Customs line was ridiculous.
15. Los Angeles Dodgers (17-17; Previous: 7) – #puigyourfriend is either a peace offering or a fun way to dupe your buddy into trying to go first to third on a single to right.
16. San Francisco Giants (18-18; Previous: 13) – Giants having slight issues with their rotation’s back end, also known as their mad bum.
17. Kansas City Royals (16-17; Previous: 6) – Don’t know what’s going on with Royals but they just woke up in Vegas with Mike Tyson’s tiger.
18. Arizona Diamondbacks (17-19; Previous: 14) – Goldschmidt batting .240, Dbacks thinking of ways to Make America’s First Baseman Great Again.
19. Tampa Bay Rays (15-17; Previous: 19) – Rays have hit more home runs than Blue Jays and Red Sox. Those things cost money, you know.
20. Colorado Rockies (16-18; Previous: 25) – If Budweiser can be “America,” Coors Field wants to be Burundi.
21. Detroit Tigers (15-18; Previous: 17) – Tigers have stolen just nine bases. Some years, it’s just Slo-Motown.
22. San Diego Padres (15-20; Previous: 29) – Shields consoles self with abiding belief Colon was probably due.
23. Milwaukee Brewers (14-20; Previous: 27) – If the starting pitching were any worse, you’d think they were playing at Burundi Field.
24. Cincinnati Reds (14-20; Previous: 24) – Reds’ relievers so bad the bullpen phone has Taps ringtone.
25. Houston Astros (14-21; Previous: 26) – Astros winless against Rangers, were warned it wasn’t required that they actually wear the Silver Boot during games.
26. New York Yankees (13-19; Previous: 22) – It’s almost like the whole team got a whole ‘nother year older.
27. Oakland Athletics (14-21; Previous: 15) – Not to be outdone in town, A’s starting pitchers putting up a lot of threes, too.
28. Los Angeles Angels (13-20; Previous: 18) – Well, that does it – Dipoto wins.
29. Atlanta Braves (8-24; Previous: 30) – The Braves like to think of it as setting themselves up for the future. Also hope this global warming thing isn’t too aggressive.
30. Minnesota Twins (8-25; Previous: 28) – St. Paul looks into possible separation procedures.
