Football transfer rumours: Manchester United want Neymar, Morata and Rodríguez?

According to a variety of newspapers, talks between Manchester United and representatives of James Rodríguez are “very advanced”, which presumably means that words of many syllables have been used. You might think the key word would be “sal-a-ry” but apparently not, as one organ is suggesting that what Rodríguez most ardently wants is a guarantee that he’ll be allowed to wear the No10 jersey, which, of course, is the one that Wayne Rooney wears while giving tours of the club museum. Not to worry, United officials are so eager to attract Rodríguez that they’re willing to give him Rooney’s number and will even throw in Jesse Lingard’s handshake. But if Rodríguez stars asking for Paul Pogba’s emoji, the deal’s off.

David de Gea’s off, too. And José Mourinho may even escort the goalkeeper back to Madrid, just so that he can drop by Atlético and pick up De Gea’s replacement, Jan Oblak. And Antoine Griezmann, of course. But Mourinho also intends prising a player from Real, namely striker Álvaro Morata, having explained to the Spanish club that handing over the striker will smooth out the De Gea deal. Thing is, Chelsea are also interested in Morata, and Real think he could be used as a bargaining chip in a bid for Eden Hazard.

From Madrid, Mourinho will travel to Barcelona and take great pleasure in watching local anguish as United trigger the £170m release clause for Neymar. United’s talent scouts are unearthing some real gems, you have to admit, really earning their corn this year. But apparently they didn’t notice Youri Tielemans during the recent Europa League scare at the hands of Anderlecht. Everton spotted the 19-year-old, however, and plan to bring him to Goodison Park.

Apparently Chelsea are going to “break the bank” to sign Napoli’s Senegalese centre-back Kalidou Kouilbaly. But first they’ll cause a little dent in in by signing the midfielder Claudio Marchisio from Juventus.

Liverpool and Tottenham are among several clubs eyeing up RB Leipzig’s 21-year-old striker Timo Werner. The problem is, Real Madrid fancy making a move for him, too.

Brighton plan to celebrate their return to the big time by splashing out £10m on Liverpool midfielder Kevin Stewart. OK, so it’s a low-key celebration, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t having fun.

Paris Saint-Germain plan to appoint Paul Mitchell as their new director of football. Mitchell is currently serving out his notice as head of recruitment at Tottenham Hotspur, for whom his recent recruits include Vincent Janssen and Moussa Sissoko.