Florida State’s ACC betrayal no laughing matter, but first-ever loss to Duke sure is

Haha.

Haha haha haha haha.

(Deep breath.)

Haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha.

Haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha.

Chortle. Guffaw. Giggle. Point and say “HA-ha” like Nelson Muntz. In these divided times, nothing brings us together, all of us, like laughing at Florida State.

Go ahead and savor the schadenfreude. It’s glorious.

The school that sued the ACC to get out because it’s allegedly too good for the league is now 1-6 after losing to Duke for the first time in recorded human history, 23-16 on Friday night. The Blue Devils are now 6-1 on the season and 1-22 all-time against the Seminoles, who deserve every bit of mockery that continues to come their way.

The Seminoles’ (yet another) loss was Duke’s historic gain. A year after the Blue Devils led in Tallahassee deep into the second half, before Riley Leonard’s ankle finally gave way and Duke quickly followed, on Friday the Blue Devils finally got their long-awaited first win in 23 tries.

“I really think we expected to win,” Duke coach Manny Diaz said. “I don’t think there were a lot of surprised faces in the locker room when we went in there after the game.”

As good as Duke’s defense was, the Blue Devils only needed 180 yards of offense thanks to Florida State’s four turnovers, nine penalties, two third-down conversions and 12 completions by two different quarterbacks — a performance that was, in a word, laughable.

Now 6-1 under Diaz, who had to do a lot more than merely pick up where Mike Elko left off, the Blue Devils have made themselves part of the ACC conversation. And in the right way, unlike Florida State.

The ACC was allegedly holding the Seminoles back — never mind FSU spends more on athletics than any other ACC public school and has less to show for it, outside of women’s soccer — so Florida State’s crack lawyers crafted an attack on the ACC with all the legal depth of single-ply toilet paper in an attempt to weasel out of all the contracts and agreements with the ACC and ESPN it so willingly signed when FSU thought it was in its best interest.

How’s that working out?

It remains an incredible display of arrogance by a bunch of trustees and executives with brains poisoned by message-board nonsense, one Clemson has tried to follow with an equally flimsy lawsuit. But the Tigers also haven’t gone out and embarrassed themselves on the football field like this.

A year after the Seminoles were illegitimately denied the playoff spot they had unquestionably earned, they’ve not only thrown away whatever sympathy anyone had for them, they’ve thrown away their entire football season before Halloween.

An opening loss to Georgia Tech in Dublin. A home loss to Boston College. A home loss to Memphis. Losses to SMU and Clemson and now Duke. All the Seminoles have to show for the season is a win over Cal.

Just about everything that could go wrong on the football field has gone wrong. Friday night against Duke, the Seminoles turned the ball over on three straight snaps in the first half and botched a field goal when the kicker booted the holder’s hand instead of the ball after a bad snap.

You hate to see it. But more than that, you love to see it.

Jim Phillips was in Durham, with mixed emotions one would presume. On the one hand, the ACC is unquestionably better off when Florida State is good at football. It’s good for the ACC. Full stop.

But on the other, Florida State is dragging his league through the legal mud, a traitor to the cause wasting time and energy (and money) that would be better spent on just about anything else.

Did the commissioner perhaps allow himself a quiet inner snicker, watching his bete noir get repeat beat? Well, he’d be far from alone.

Florida State asked for all of this. Brought it on itself. Gave the rest of the ACC the high hat. Look at our TV ratings! We move the needle! You don’t! We’ll see you in court!

And now?

You break it, you buy it.

The SemiLOLes are 1-6.

Haha.

Haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha.

Of course, as accidentally amusing as this football season is, the losing pales in comparison to what’s going to happen when FSU’s complaint reaches a court (and judge) that isn’t predisposed to view it as anything but the joke that it is.

But for now, there’s more than enough to laugh about.

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