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Dwyane Wade would like to teach you all about two little things called defense and boxing out

Dwyane Wade did quite a bit for the Chicago Bulls on Wednesday evening, leading the team in points (26), rebounds (11) and assists (eight) as they tried (ultimately unsuccessfully) to earn their third straight win at TD Garden, and take a 3-2 lead over the favored Boston Celtics in their best-of-seven first-round series. It was, on balance, an admirable effort, the kind of “vintage” playoff performance the future Hall of Famer has been producing in springtime for more than a decade.

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Sometimes, in the middle of an effort like that, you just need to take a second to step back and recharge the ol’ batteries. Regrettably, D-Wade chose to take that second during live action, as the Celtics were inbounding the ball midway through the second quarter.

As Marcus Smart prepares to throw the inbounds pass, fellow Celtics guard Avery Bradley sprints across the foul line, around an elbow screen from Al Horford, toward the sideline to give Smart a target. Bulls guard Isaiah Canaan, exhumed from mothballs and pressed into heavy duty midway through this series after Rajon Rondo suffered a fractured right thumb, navigates traffic to track him. So, too, does Wade, which leaves four Bulls guarding three Celtics on the strong side of the floor … including All-Star point guard Isaiah Thomas, whom Wade (or perhaps Canaan, on an uncommunicated switch) left all alone on the left wing.

Smart lofts a cross-court pass to Thomas, putting Jimmy Butler in the unenviable position of having to guard two 3-point threats — IT on the wing, Kelly Olynyk in the corner — by himself. As soon as he moves toward Thomas, the point guard slings the ball to Olynyk in the corner: dammit. But Chicago gets lucky, as Olynyk’s open corner 3 catches iron. All that’s left is for Wade, who’s been calmly ambling through the paint for a few seconds, to collect the rebound.

Except!

'Man, look at that ball! It bounced up super high. That's crazy.'
‘Man, look at that ball! It bounced up super high. That’s crazy.’
'Whoa, Avery! What's up, dude? Didn't see you there. What you got going on after this? You wanna go see The Fate of the Furious?'
‘Whoa, Avery! What’s up, dude? Didn’t see you there. What you got going on after this? You wanna go see The Fate of the Furious?’
'Oh, hey, wait a second. You're not supposed to be getting that. One of my dudes, the dudes with T-shirts, is supposed to be getting that. Where are my dudes?'
‘Oh, hey, wait a second. You’re not supposed to be getting that. One of my dudes, the dudes with T-shirts, is supposed to be getting that. Where are my dudes?’
'Maybe if I take one step toward him, he'll get freaked out and no, no, it didn't freak him out, he made it just fine.'
‘Maybe if I take one step toward him, he’ll get freaked out and no, no, it didn’t freak him out, he made it just fine.’

Maybe Wade was just trying to remember if he put the seat down. He’s already gotten in trouble for that once this postseason, after all.

If you watched that and found yourself wondering what the hell just happened, then I have good news for you! You are now Anthony Morrow, reserve swingman on the Chicago Bulls.

You know a defensive possession got messed up when Anthony Morrow is its conscience.
You know a defensive possession got messed up when Anthony Morrow is its conscience.

Congratulations on finally making it to the NBA! All those years of #riseandgrind work really paid off. Before you know it, you could be the one momentarily entering a fugue state while allowing offensive rebounds in pivotal NBA playoff games. Dare to dream!

The Celtics bench certainly appreciated Wade’s effort, such as it was, and Bradley’s soaring putback.

Yes, Amir Johnson definitely leapt up off the bench to cheer on this play. His pants, however, did not stick around for the full celebration.

In summation: great stuff all around, gentlemen. High-quality basketball entertainment.

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Dan Devine is an editor for Ball Don’t Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at devine@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!