Duke softball coach leads program to best season one year after husband’s heart attack

More than 20 years ago, James Lamar rode with Marissa Young as she drove from Michigan to an event in Ohio.

A youth traveling team’s coaches had asked her to speak. It was one of the couple’s first dates, leading to their marriage. It also sparked a coaching career that led Young to start Duke’s softball program.

Lamar remembers everyone in attendance at the event gravitating toward her; hanging on her every word. She provided individual instruction at the time, but Lamar knew she had a future in coaching.

“Whatever we do in life, you cannot stop coaching softball. That’s your calling,” he told her. “People love and they are very attracted to what you’re doing. I’m not gonna let you stop.”

Last May, with Duke playing for a spot in the Women’s College World Series, Lamar landed on life support after a heart attack, his survival uncertain.

If there was ever a time she could’ve quit, the last 12 months would’ve been it. In fact, Young wondered how she’d manage caring for her husband, family and team. No one would have blamed her if the program took a step back.

But with a leave of absence and a lot of help, Young has done it all while guiding Duke to its best softball season to date.

“In the moment when things get really hard, you’re just afraid it’s all gonna fall apart. We had climbed the ladder, but you didn’t want that to slip away,” Young said. “It’s just faith and knowing that God knew exactly what we needed and continued to propel us forward even when I couldn’t do it by myself.”

A Duke assistant last season who now coaches at Oregon, Sydney Romero won four national championships at Oklahoma, two as a player and two as a graduate assistant. She knows the difficulty of being one of the best programs in the country when things are going well. It’s exponentially harder when things aren’t.

“She really impressed me in her strength and being able to manage so many different things…holding the team together and being able to be there for her family,” Romero said. “I think she showed who she was as a person and what she cared about.”

Softball is more than a sport and coaching isn’t just a job to Young.

Duke has garnered national attention for its impressive season, going 44-6 and winning the ACC regular season championship. But it’s inspiring more than the next generation of softball players; it’s showing hope can overcome hardship.

From the healthy to the hospital

“Get the team. This gentleman has had a heart attack.”

Lamar, who coached the Lady Dukes youth softball program before his illness, never expected to hear those words come out of the doctor’s mouth.

He went to the emergency room on May 27, 2023, accompanied by his eldest son, Braylon, thinking he was suffering from a second bout of pneumonia.

Lamar didn’t tell Young or the rest of his family about his illness. Duke was preparing to play Stanford in its second NCAA Super Regional contest. The season was on the line, and he didn’t want to worry anyone or be a distraction.

But instead of pneumonia, Lamar unknowingly suffered a heart attack at work. He laid in a hospital bed, sedated and intubated days later after four surgeries. He was on life support, attached to tubes and wires; a ventilator helped him breathe for three weeks.

The heart attack changed his life.

Lamar recalled the stark contrast between his sterile hospital room, with his wife and sister sleeping on uncomfortable furniture, and the beach vacation he took with Young in January 2023. They had a candlelight dinner on the beach and went parasailing, smiling and healthy. Suddenly nobody knew if he’d see the next day.

Lamar admitted he prepared in mid-July for the possibility of death. Doctors didn’t know how much longer the machines could keep him alive. He had days, maybe a week or two.

Then, the family got the call. There was an organ donor, and Lamar would receive heart and kidney transplants.

Duke softball coach issues plea for donors as family addresses husband’s transplant needs

Two months after the initial heart attack, Lamar celebrated a new birthday.

“It has also been challenging to wrestle with the reality that there has to be life lost for life to be gained,” Young said last June. “I empathize with all the families that lose loved ones that end up being organ transplant donors.”

The recovery, which started with more tubes and labored breathing, continues nearly a year later. Though the organs are working as they should, doctors hope to get Lamar walking again by early next year.

“The struggles we’ve had the last year with my husband’s health, and just not knowing if he was going to make it to tomorrow, put life into perspective,” Young said.

‘That’s what makes her so great’

Claire Davidson jogged to the Duke dugout on April 27 after hitting a solo home run over the right center field wall. Her teammates handed Davidson the Blue Devils’ triton, the team’s protocol to celebrate home runs.

The senior, facing N.C. State pitcher Aisha Weixlmann, extended Duke’s lead to three runs and scored her 17th homer of the season. Davidson ranks No. 16 in the nation, her name among All-Americans like Oklahoma’s Tiare Jennings and Georgia’s Jayda Kearney.

Davidson’s numbers haven’t always been First Team All-ACC caliber, much less All-America, but she’s having her best season to date. The senior recorded career highs in home runs, batting average (.423), runs scored (55), hits (60), RBI (61), doubles (16), triples (2) and total bases (131). Plus, she led the ACC in six categories.

Even with Young facing so many challenges, she and her staff worked with Davidson to elevate her play.

“That is not something that just happens,” Lamar said. “There’s somebody pushing the right buttons at the right time to develop a player on and off the field.”

It’s especially true at a place like Duke, which is known for itsrigorous academic requirements and high tuition. Plenty of talented recruits went elsewhere and forced Young to do more with less.

“No one gives her enough credit for that,” Lamar said. “That’s the part of life that I see as her husband. That is not echoed from the mountaintops.”

But, development is Young’s favorite part of the job. She did it at NAIA Concordia University, Eastern Michigan and North Carolina. It’s a big reason Duke hired her in 2015 to start its program and play its first season three years later.

She enjoys seeing her players improve on and off the field, and they’re inspired by her own example.

She’s fearless and demanding, desiring nothing less than the pursuit of greatness. She doesn’t skip steps or cut corners, Lamar said.

Young often eats dinner with the family before spending two or three hours working on scouting reports or evaluating player performances.

The Blue Devils have endured just one losing record since 2018. They’ve put together at least 44 wins in four straight seasons and have a chance to beat last year’s 48 victories.

Duke won the ACC championship in 2021 and has made the NCAA Tournament every year since. It’s appeared in two straight NCAA Super Regionals and hosted last year.

This season’s Blue Devils, the seventh team in program history, have been listed in USA Softball’s Top 5 for 10 consecutive weeks. Softball America ranked them No. 1 at the end of April. Young’s success isn’t a fluke; it’s who she is.

“She’s not going to change who she is to make others around her comfortable,” Romero said. “I think that’s what makes her so great at what she does. She demands excellence, and she instills confidence in her players and doesn’t allow any slack.

“I feel like that’s something that she taught me just in one year; how to hold my ground and demand from my players in a respectful manner.”

‘Look how everybody stepped up’

When people think of the phrase, “It takes a village,” it’s usually associated with raising children. It’s taken on a new meaning for Young and Duke softball.

The 42-year-old didn’t want to let anyone down. Her husband needed her, but so did several others.

Braylon left for college at Miami, where he plays football. Their two daughters, Layla and Jolyna, were in the midst of college recruiting, while being down one parent. Their youngest child, Kayden, also plays sports.

And there’s the softball team.

That’s a large burden to carry, and she didn’t know how to balance it.

Young’s assistants and support staff kept the program running, while she took the leave of absence in the fall.

Loved ones and the softball community provided practical support for the family. They delivered meals and gift cards, visited the hospital, donated toward treatment costs, and sent countless messages of support. Florida freshman and Lady Dukes alumna Keagan Rothrock started a bracelet fundraiser in his honor.

“That was the first time (Marissa) had to take a back seat for family first,” Lamar said. “Look how everybody stepped up.”

After years of her own generosity and kindness, it was finally her turn to be on the receiving end.

“Some days it’s a really hard day. You feel like people have forgotten about you or don’t recognize your struggle, and you get an uplifting text from somebody,” Young said. “They can’t physically be there but to know that you’re cared for and thought of and prayed for means a lot.”

Bigger than the game

Duke can credit its success this season to multiple variables: Age, experience, increased training. And a deeper purpose.

The Blue Devils dedicated this season to Young and her family. They planned to keep things rolling, because playing to its best abilities was a simple way to help alleviate stress in her life.

Young said the team — her “sunshine” — has done that and more. It’s not about the results, either. The seventh-year head coach still holds high expectations, but this season has been a lesson in showing up through adversity, in finding joy wherever possible.

“It’s bigger than just the game. Coach James, he’s our biggest fan,” said senior Kelly Torres. “He watches every single game and he reports back, so we always know he’s watching. To be able to perform and give him a reason to smile like that, it’s unbelievable. I think we take that with pride.”

The Blue Devils have never appeared in the Women’s College World Series. They have another shot this spring, and Romero believes the team’s athletic abilities coupled with a renewed purpose can take it further than before.

“There’s no doubt in my mind that a lot of (the success) has to do with everything Young has experienced off the field and that has led into the softball world,” Romero said. “When you’re playing for something more than yourself and more than your team, it’s a different ballgame. I can see that with the Duke softball program.”

Young’s example through the trials

No one wants to experience hardship or heartbreak. Young certainly never expected to question her husband’s survival, faced with the fragility of the body and life.

There is something to be said, however, about a person’s ability to withstand those hard times. For Young, the last year gave her an opportunity to live her core values, focusing on family, faith and self care. She lives with a different sense of fearlessness, unafraid of what might come next, and pursues every endeavor relentlessly, Lamar said. Torres called Young the strongest woman she knows.

“I hope it gives (my team) the courage to see in the future life’s gonna throw things at them,” Young said. “They’re gonna have to figure out how to navigate life and whatever is on their plate. Hopefully I’ve been able to model that well for them.”

Romero said her former boss has done just that. The 27-year-old lost her father in February, one week into the season. Romero took lessons from Young’s experience, modeling strength and healing for student-athletes at Oregon.

“I think about everything that she’s gone through, and I think about everything that I’ve gone through. Her strength has really allowed me to push through,” Romero said. “One of the coolest things is she’s still dealing with a lot, but she still checks in on me. … She still cares for people. No matter what she’s dealing with herself.”

‘She’s Super Woman’

Torres rounded the bases at Duke softball stadium on April 20 and slid into third. She jumped up with an emphatic cheer and hugged Young after hitting a triple on Senior Day. A moment of joy, a glimpse into what this season has meant to everyone associated with Duke softball.

“This season is a blessing from God for everything she did in the offseason to help her kids, her family and her program stay afloat,” Lamar said.

Recovery and treatment continue as doctors work to restore full circulation and reconstruct Lamar’s feet. He has surgery every other week and plans to undergo a bilateral heel reconstruction this summer, a procedure that’s only been done three times in the United States.

Young transports Lamar to doctor’s appointments, carrying him to the car; assists with medications throughout the day; and provides faithful support.

“I owe a lot to her,” Lamar said. “The amount of adversity she’s been through to keep doing her job and keep her family going; she’s Super Woman in my eyes.”

Duke hosts the ACC Tournament this week. It is also poised to host an NCAA Tournament Regional and Super Regional. Lamar hopes to be there.

He plans to sit in the press box and take in everything his wife has accomplished — on and off the field. He’ll remember the couple’s journey from that car ride two decades ago that led to their marriage, family and her career.

He’ll watch with pride as his former travel ballplayers, now elite players and high-character young women, seek their first WCWS berth.

Most importantly, Lamar will watch his wife fulfill her calling and know the past year provided more than pain. It created a story of prosperity; one remembered for finding success through community, faith and resilience.

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