CKEM - Sunday, May 26, 2024 - 01:00 a.m. (ET) - Segment #4

That's what I mean! You say nobody! [heavy breathing] What's that say? Go ahead. Tell me, what's it say? Well, in effect it says, "Those two intrepid voyagers into the unknown, return from the unknownin a slightly dented aircraft." What about the picture? Who's in the picture? "Colonel Clegg Forbes, Major William Gart, taken just before their historic flight that ended in mysterious disappearance and crash." That's what you remember, huh? You and me, on the X-20, taking off. About four hours up, we black out, and 24 hours later, we end up in a crashed aircraft in the desert. We don't know where we've been, or what's happened. Is that right? That's right! Oh, now what's the matter? Isn't that right? Bill... ...there were three of us in that aircraft. You and me, and a Colonel named... ...Harrington. - Oh, yeah. Harrington. - Ed Harrington! [heavy breathing] I... look. Look, he was 36 years old. He was my best friend. I'd known him for 15 years, and you'd known him for five! That ship took a crew of three, and we were the three. And there were three of us when they brought us back here to the hospital, picking us up in the desert. You and me, and Harrington. Harrington and I were just scratched. You were the one with the busted leg! Yesterday morning, they discharged Harrington and me. There were three beds in this room, yours and mine, and Harringtons. Clegg... ...I don't know anybody named Harrington. He wasn't on the crew with us. The X-20 carried two men, you and me. Nobody named Harrington, nobody else at all! When you walked out of here yesterday morning, you walked out alone. There's never been three beds in this room, only two. Yours... ...and mine. I think you better be looked at. Please. I knew you'd say that, Bill, and I don't blame you for saying it, either. But... but... ...let me... ...let me describe to you what I remember. Look, I'll give you a breakdown, chronologically, of everything that happened as of yesterday morning. Bill... ...you said goodbye to us from that bed! And... ...and you said,"Harrington, look after Forbes. He drinks too much!" [stammers] Those were your exact words! And I stood right at that door, and I laughed. I swear to you, Bill. I swear to you! It happened! I... ...I know it happened! [laughs] I wanna let you have it, fresh, punk kid. Oh, I'm gonna fix this babies wagon. I'm gonna tell the medics that he's a very sick cookie, and oughta be kept under observation for another seven years. And every Saturday night, Major Gart, the Colonel and I are gonna phone you from whatever barwe happen to be in at that time, and if you're nice. If you were real nice! We'll even let you talk to our women. [laughs] Will you come on already? I just can't stand these long goodbyes. [laughs] Why don'tcha both get outta here and leave me alone? Let me suffer in loneliness, all by myself, huh? - Oh, that's a good-looking guy in the middle, there. But who are the two slobs on the sides? Well, [clears throat] we'll drop by and see ya tomorrow, maybe. Well, get lost. Um, who needs you. [laughter] Hey! You're Forbes and Harrington, aint'cha? Aint'cha the guys that was up in space? Yeah, but we can still buy a couple of beers for $0.30 earth money. Right, you bet your life! But your money's no good here. The drinks are on the house. I don't get to serve many celebrities.

Now, drink up, boys. Mmm, thanks. I don't even care that you cracked up the ship, and I'm a taxpayer! Say, uh, what's it like up there in outer space? Well... ...it's, it's like... - ...like, way out. - Uh. [giggles] Please. What's the matter? Something wrong? Oh, well, uh, I'll tell you after I taste the beer. Happy landings, chaps! Wherever possible. Well, that's OK, that's OK! That ain't the last glass of beer of the place. You sick, Ed? No... ...no, I'm not sick. I just got a very funny feeling. Phew, I've never felt anything like this before. What kind of feeling? It's like I didn't belong here. Like, if I was to let myself go, I'd.... [chuckles] You'd... you'd what? ...like I'd disappear. Phew. Wow. [chuckles] Ooh. - Happy landings. - Well, sure. I'm gonna go call my folks. You alright, Ed? Yeah, I'm alright. [phone dialing] Hello, operator. I'd like to make a collect call, please, to Des Moines, Iowa. the residence of Mr James Harrington. - Clegg! - Yeah? C'mere. Please, would you come here, quick? What's trouble? Clegg... ...I just, uh, called home. Called my folks. - My mom answered the phone, - Yeah. told her who I was, and she said she didn't have any son named Ed Harrington. That's what she said, buddy! And then I asked to talk the old man, and he got on and kept telling me to get off the phone, he didn't want any practical jokester bothering his wife. He said he didn't have any son, at all. What is it, Clegg? What's it all mean? Well... ...I don't know, it's just a gag, maybe. No gag. It's all a part of this feeling. This feeling I... ...I shouldn't be here! And none of us should be here. It's as if... As if what? ...if maybe, we shouldn't have come back from that flight, at all. Maybe... ...somebody... ...something... ...made a mistake, and let us get through. We shouldn't have. Ed, you stay put. I'm gonna get you a good stiff drink, alright? [thuds] Take it easy. You stay put, alright? You got a beer here, honey. Where's my buddies drink? Who? My buddies drink. Colonel Harrington, the... ...his beer... ...the beer he had in placeof the one he dropped on the...

I don't know what you mean, Colonel. You came in here alone! What are you,a wise guy or something? What... [yelling] You're crazy! You're... you're crazy! You're crazy! You know that? You're crazy! Announcer: Citytv+ has all your favourite shows on demand (crowd cheer))plus more. [dramatic music] Announcer: Start your free trialwith Prime video channels today. For 30 years, Walmart's helped Canadians save through a lot. The Elmo Craze in ‘96. Your endless wait for dial-up. SFX: Iconic dial up ‘trying to connect' sound Those wide, shapeless jeans... that hair thing with the uh teeth. In the 2000s, you were all doing this. So we did this. In 2020, the race for toilet paper was won here. Whatever was happening, we made it happen - for less. 30 years later, we still are. ( ) If you'd invested a hundred K, for the last 30 years and earned 8%, you'd have over million dollars. But pay a 2% fee every year, 400,000 less If you understand it, you'll earn it. Come feed your inner child and set your imaginary friends free with items like the Unbelieva-Blue Soda Pop the Coney Island Pizza Omelette and Blues Dazzle-Berry Pancakes inspired by the all-new movie IF Kids Eat Free 4 to 10 p.m. and see IF only in theaters May 17th We know you care. But if this is all too real for you and your loved ones. Make the call. Because we care too. Home Instead. To us, it's personal. (Clinking) New Finish Ultramax. Engineered for the ultimate clean in the toughest conditions. Dry burnt-on stains. Old dishwashers. Very hard water. Even when you skip the rinse. Its new CycleSync technology releases the right ingredient at the right time. And Finish Ultramax breaks down stains, cuts grease, and boosts shine for the Ultimate clean. Even in the toughest conditions. ( ) (Sound effect) Announcer: reads words on screen Operator? I'd like Anderson Air Force Base, please. Commanding officer's residence. What? Well, call me back. [knocking] Ed, you... ...Amy? Oh, Amy, honey, I'm so glad to see you! And you, Colonel Clegg, are a devious, malicious, two-faced, two-timing. No, no, no, look. I'm in trouble, Amy. I know you won't understand this, but I think I'm in bad trouble. - I need you to help. - I have no doubt you are. You send me a wire that you're going to meet me at the bus station, at 12 o'clock tonight. Well, I was there at 12, and I was there at one, and I was still there at two! Do you have any idea how many bars I've been to? - How many motels? - Amy, please! Clegg... ...what's the matter? What kind of trouble are you in? Please, tell me. I wanna know. I don't know how to begin to tell you this, but... well... I sent you that wire, because I was getting discharged in the hospital this morning, and Ed and I were gonna wait for you. It was in the wire. It was in the telegram! What was? I wrote down that Ed and Iwere gonna get off this morning. I wrote down "Ed and I", "Ed and I", I've got it here someplace. Yeah, look! See? I'm getting out at nine... Amy... I... I wrote down that Ed and I were leaving the hospital. I wrote down that Ed and I. Ed and I! "Ed", who's Ed? Don't you know? I don't know any Ed. Who's Ed? Ed. Harrington. You know him, Amy. Ed, you've met him 100 times! Ed, we've been to dinner together, we've been to dances together. Ed, we double-dated Ed! Clegg, what's the matter with you? What's happened to you? I don't know. [sobbing] I swear to God, I don't know!

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