CJCH - Saturday, May 25, 2024 - 10:30 p.m. (ET) - Segment #2

Good morning. Good morning. >> How can I help you? >> The name's George Constanza. I'm starting work here today. I was wondering if you could tell me where my office is. >> I wasn't aware that-- Mike, this is George Constanza. He's starting here today. >> Welcome aboard. >> Thanks, Mike. Nice to be aboard. >> I didn't even know Mr. Tuttle was finished interviewing. >> Oh, well, he was probably just getting anxious to start his vacation. (Laughter) >> He wants to know where his office is. >> Oh. Well, let's see. We've got two. There's the big one down the hall there and a small one over here. You know, I should ask Jack. >> Oh, leave Jack alone. Jack's got enough problems. (Chuckling) I'll just take the small office. >> Really? >> Yes. I like to feel cozy. I have a very small apartment. I like to feel tucked in, nestled in. Love to be nestled. >> Alright, alright. It's 808, right down there. Meanwhile, I'll get you the Pensky file, you can start working on that. >> Yes, yes of course, the Pensky file. Ho, ho, can't wait to sink my teeth into that. Wow that Pensky. Well, we'll straighten him out. (Chuckling) (Flicking) (Thud) (Audience laughter) (Ticking) (Sighing) (Audience laughter) (Whistling) (Audience laughter) >> So what did you do there all day? >> They gave me the Pensky file. (Audience laughter) >> So it's a nice place to work? >> You know, I'm enjoying it very much. I think my coworkers are really taking to me. We're like a family. In fact, yesterday was Grace's birthday. She's such a sweet woman. So we had a little party with cake and champagne. I made a toast. (Audience laughter) >> What about your boss, the guy who you interviewed you? >> He'll be back on Monday. >> Hi. >> Hey. >> Hi. >> Hey. How come you're wearing a hat? >> I got a haircut. >> Oh yeah? Can I see it? >> There's nothing to see. >> Come on, let me see it. >> Forget it. >> Come on. >> Alright. (Audience laughter) (Laughing) (Banging) All right. (Laughter continues) That's very good. Thank you. >> I'm sorry! I'm sorry! (Audience laughter) >> Yeah, well, I'll tell you this. You can forget about me going to that bachelor auction. >> What? No Jerry, you have to go. >> You know, Elaine, I'd do it but I'm working that day. >> Yeah, too bad. (Audience laughter) (Symphonic music) >> This is the worst haircut Jerry's ever had. You got to fix it. >> Sure, I fix it. But you got to make sure you no tell anybody. He's a little crazy. I don't know what he'd do, he found out I touch Jerry's hair. >> Yeah, yeah. >> So I love that Edward Scissorhands. That's the best movie I've ever seen. >> Ah, again with the Edward Scissorhands. How can you have hand like scissors, huh? Show me one person who's got a hand like scissors. >> Hey, it's a beautiful dream. I'd love to be this man. >> Did you ever think about what you're going to do on the toilet? What are you going to do on the toilet?! (Audience laughter) >> I'd like to have shoehorn hands. >> Hey. >> Hey. >> Hey. >> Okay, listen to me. I talked to Gino, he's going to fix the haircut. >> Oh great. Then you can go to the bachelor auction. >> Yeah, but-- >> No buts. His apartment tonight, 8:00. >> Can he fix it? >> I don't know. (Audience laughter) >> Boy, you got a beautiful head of hair. (Audience laughter) >> Thank you. >> I bet uncle Enzo, he tell you that all the time. >> Well, actually Enzo hasn't said that to me in a while. (Audience laughter) >> I don't think uncle Enzo realize what a lucky barber he is. >> That's nice of you to say. (Audience laughter) (Buzzing) >> Oh. Just a second. Yes. >>It's your uncle Enzo. >> It's Uncle Enzo! Quick, go

in there. I'll clean up. Come on up. (Knocking) Uncle Enzo, what are you doing here? >> I've come to apologize. >> Apologize? >> Yeah. I rented the movie Edward Scissorhands. That Johnny Depp, he make me cry. (Audience laughter) >> Oh! He make me cry too. You want something to drink? >> Hey! What's all of this? >> Nothing. It's just hair. >> You do haircut in the apartment? >> No. Pizza man was here. Maybe some fall off. He's going bald. >> It looks very familiar. Male Announcer: Everyone's talking about Mary. Who, me? Announcer: She's brightening up CTV daytime... Welcome to the Good Stuff! Announcer: ...in her own Mary way... It's a little thick and gloopy. Gloopy? That's a technical term that I've made up. Announcer: ...with good friends... It's so fun to be in Canada, it's like my second home. Announcer: ...good moments... (Gasping) ...and good times. Give me a high five! Do you love it? Oh my gosh, I love this. Announcer: The Good Stuff with Mary Berg. Join the fun. Announcer: Weekdays at 10:00, 9:00 Mountain on CTV. (Song in French) ( ) ( ) Oh ( ) ( ) Get a head start with Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra and Canada's fastest 5G+ network. Come along with me for a much needed spa day. Looking your best costs less than you think. First, the staffrecommended a deep cleanse with Olympic deckcleaner. There were lots of Olympicshades to choose from. Luckily, Kent has stain testers to help find the perfect colour. Then it was time for the facial. It gave me thathealthy, radiant glow and long lasting coverage with a protective coat. Confidence level through the roof. Kent. Right products, rightsolutions, right here at home. Did you miss this week's What's for Dinner segment on CTV News at 5? Visit CTVAtlantic.ca for a link to the segment and all of the fabulous recipes. What's for Dinner is brought to you by Food and Beverage Atlantic. The IWK Telethon is back.We'll hear from kids who rely onthe IWK for world Your generosity is life changingfor many Maritime families. The IWK TelethonJune 2nd live on CTV. Napa Auto Parts WorldSeries of Monster Trucks,presented by AtlanticDodge de is heading for HalifaxScotia's Speed World. Guarantee your ticketsnow at Showpass.com brought to you by ActionCar and Truck accessories. Ram Power Days are here.The power to choose fromthe most awarded truck brand over the last five years. Like Ram Classic.As versatile as it is capable. Ram 1500, voted bestlarge pickup in Canada. Or Ram Heavy Dutywith a no-charge Cummins. And you don't pay for 90 days. The power is yours.The time is now. Get 20% off MSRP on Ram Classic for up to $14,200 in discounts. Plus get 4.99% financing. Hearing Institute Atlantic is locally owned and we have an expert team of audiologists and hearing care professionals, who are passionate about hearing health care. You can trust our team to provide personalized service, exceptional products and affordable pricing. These are the signatures that make Hearing Institute Atlantic your best choice. Call us to book your appointment today and let our expert team,help you to hear better. Looking for refined custom design? BuiltWise! From blueprint to build... concept to creation. And Maritime charm? That's in every project! Get started at BuiltWise.ca (Upbeat instrumental music) (Symphonic music) >> In the one minute that he worked on me, I could tell he was really good. >> Yeah. Slow, gentle, attentive. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I told you. Didn't I tell you? >> But Enzo picked up one of my hairs off the floor. >> Yeah, so? >> I think he knew. >> No, he doesn't know. >> How do you know? He knows my hair.

>> Listen, you're just imagining things. He doesn't know a thing. Now, come on, pull yourself together. >> Okay, okay. >> What happened? It looks the same. >> He didn't get to finish it. His uncle came in. We almost got caught. (Audience laughter) >> Jerry, the auction is in a few hours. >> Take the K-man. >> You can still go. (Audience laughter) >> What, are you kidding? Look at him. He's grotesque. >> You think? >> Do I think? He's repugnant. (Audience laughter) >> What would you wear? >> Whatever it takes. >> See, now Newman is a good customer. >> Once I find a barber, I stick with him. I almost went to barber school. I always felt I had a talent for it. >> Aw. Not everyone like Newman, so loyal. >> Yeah, just the way that I was raised. I'm special. (Audience laughter) >> You know, I don't mind if somebody's funny but I no like the funny business. >> I'm going to go out for a little bit. I'll be right back. >> Take your time. You happy with the haircut? >> It's okay. A little crooked. (Audience laughter) >> How you like to have free haircut for six months? >> What's the catch? >> You're going to get me a sample of Jerry's hair. >> Hm, that job sounds like it might be worth a year's free haircuts. And a comb. (Audience laughter) (Tapping) (Audience laughter) (Buzzing) >> Clarice:Mr. Costanza, Mr. Pensky is here to see you. (Audience laughter) >> Mr. Pensky? Of the Pensky file? >> Costanza? Arthur Pensky. >> Mr. Pensky. I was just working on your file. I was transferring the contents of the file into this flexible accordion-style folder to-- >> Where's Tuttle? >> He's on vacation. >> He was on vacation the last time I dropped by. Give me my file. Looks like you put a lot of work into this. >> Well, you know, in college they used to call me the little bulldog. >> Hey, you are Pensky material. Would you ever consider coming to work directly for me? >> Really? >> You are aware-- (Buzzing) >>Clarice:Mr.Castanza? >> Not now Clarice. >> Clarice:I thought Mr. Pensky should know they're towing his car. >> Damn this city! >> I am aware. I am aware. >> He knows. He knows about us. >> How do you know? >> Because I know. He's crazy. All morning, he looking at the hair. He staring at the hair. (Knocking) >> Who is it? >> Newman: It's Newman. >> (Gasping) He was in the shop with Enzo. He can't see me here. >> Alright, go in the bedroom. Open the window. You can go out the fire escape. (Audience laughter) What do you want? >> Could I use your bathroom? (Audience laughter) >> What's wrong with yours? >> My toilet's clogged. >> You can't unclog it? >> No. >> Did you ask Kramer? >> He's out. >> Number one? >> Yes, yes. May I go? >> Go ahead. >> 'Cause I got to go very badly. >> Flush twice. >> Thank you. >> Newman:No. Jackpot. (Laughs) I don't believe this. There's no hair in this thing. I've never seen a person that didn't have at least one hair in a brush. (Audience laughter) Unbelievable, nothing. Ah. (Flushing) >> You alright? >> Yeah, yeah. >> Alright, I'll see you later. >> What are you doing? >> I'm watching Edward Scissorhands. >> Oh. Could I watch a little? It's my favourite movie. >> Yeah alright. You want something to drink? >> No. (Laughing) (Audience laughter) >> If you want to watch, sit down. You're making me nervous. I tell you, this Scissorhands is a hell of a barber. (Snipping) >> Got to go. Oh gee, I dropped a nickel. See you, Jerry. (Evil laughter) (Audience laughter)

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