CFPL - Saturday, May 25, 2024 - 11:00 p.m. (ET) - Segment #2

okay? I love you. Man: she says they're on their way. They musta caught a ride back to town. She said she loves me. So, should we tow? When in doubt, tow. Good old russell. He was always there for ya with a kind word and a smile. We're never gonna make the game. Ah, the jerk was always makin' me late. We called the police like an hour ago. Weren't they supposed to be here within 45 minutes or something? That's pizza. Let's just write a note. A note. Maybe that's all I'll get, is a note. Did you ever think of that? No, not even once. "dear police." what about the ambulance guys? You don't want to snub them. "dear emergency workers." that's a real nice belt russell's wearin'. I love shopping here. Me too. It's so easy to keep a running tally on what you spend. Fifteen items, fifteen bucks. Will that be everything? Yes. Are you sure? I don't like your tone. Where did you get that bracelet? From her, for christmas. Yeah. Really? How do you explain this, then? Well, I'll have to go to a scalper. Isn't that weird for you to go to a scalper? Why? Because I'm a cree man? I resent that. Because you're a police officer and scalping tickets is illegal. Oh, yeah. But we can't miss the grey cup. Why did we have to get here three hours early? For situations just like this. Fine. Well, there's a scalper over there. Brent: you're calling your mom again? Lacey: ah, you know? I want to use up the minutes. Brent: sheesh. Time to cut the apron strings. Oh, I can't get service. We'll be at the car soon. Yeah. You know, I never knew it snowed in vegas. Oscar: come here and help me. What are ya doin'? He owes me 20 bucks. He'd want me to take it. I don't think so. All right. You want to hear a funny russell story? Here's a funny russell story. In 1963... Oscar? When I die, I want you to have my belt. That's not a funny story. Come here, ya little wiener, and help me with the belt. All right, fine. But when we get that belt off him, I'm takin' one of his snow globes. Grab here. That's it. Okay, now, one, two, three. Okay, we've definitely gone far enough now. No, no. I--i think I see a-- I see it just up there. Or maybe we walked past it. I would have been better off if I let you call a tow truck. Oh, come on. Don't beat yourself up about it. Think of this as a-- as an adventure, you know, walking along, enjoying nature. Yeah. Physical activity and direct sunlight, two of my favourite things. If you were playing the bagpipes, this would be a perfect day. Cover me. I'm goin' in. (Clears throat) I would like to buy some merchandise from you. Sorry? I said I want to buy some merchandise from you. I'll pay. You can use whatever word you want. I'll pay. Okay. You're uh... Under arrest. For scalping? (Scoffs) for soliciting.

( ) ( ) Stop dreaming. Start shopping. Red Tag Days are on at Toyota, with great offers on select models. Find yours at ShopToyota.ca (Woman) We're putting our footdown to keep our feet up.Like way up with La- (Man) We worked overtime,now it's tv time. (vo) It's the La-Z-Boy Red Tag Sale! Save up to 25% La-Z-Boy. Long live the lazy. Did you know that if you're injured on private property by falling on snow and ice, you must provide written notice within 60 days? What? That's right. And time is not on your side. Call Preszler Law. We can help. Because what you don't know can really cost you. Call Preszler Law now. 1-800-justice. One call. That's all. ( ) ( ) Stop dreaming. Start shopping. Red Tag Days are on at Toyota, with great offers on select models. Find yours today, at ShopToyota.ca [ ] You might not know how to fix a broken air conditioner. SFX:[phone/truck/bag/fan] But we do. "That was fast." And if you need a new one pay as little as three dollars a day and make no monthly rental payments for 6 months Call on Reliance ( ) ( ) Stop dreaming. Start shopping. Red Tag Days are on at Toyota, with great offers on select models. Find yours at ShopToyota.ca (Woman) We're putting our footdown to keep our feet up.Like way up with La- (Man) We worked overtime,now it's tv time. (vo) It's the La-Z-Boy Red Tag Sale! Save up to 25% La-Z-Boy. Long live the lazy. The Hunger Games are to punish the districts. Murderer! You seem like a good man, Coriolanus Snow. (Panting) Coriolanus: I've seen what war does to people. Good luck with that poor little songbird. Where is she? It's a mystery... and mysteries have a way of driving people mad! (Chuckling) Hanging tree Hank: I can't believe we got caught stealin' a dead guy's belt. Don't worry. I'll talk us out of this. With your funny story? He wanted me to have that belt. Oh. You know how you could make it funnier? Oscar, when I die, I wantyou to have my belt. (Honking) (Laughing) honk, honk. Okay, it's time to face facts. My car's been stolen. Let's not jump to conclusions. Do you have a better explanation? Well, I don't know. Maybe--maybe you left it in neutral and it rolled away. Down one of these steep saskatchewan hills? I don't know, brent. Why would someone steal a car that was out of gas, anyway? I--i better call my mom. You called a tow truck. Yeah. But I didn't think they were going to come and tow your car. That's why they're called tow trucks. I'm sorry. It's all right. Just call them now and we'll get the car back. Okay. My phone doesn't work. Let's head back to the farmhouse. Brent, you're leaving behind your gasman's badge of triumph. Believe me, it weighs heavy on my conscience. But it weighs even heavier on my shoulder. Clerk: do you expect me to believe that somebody gave you a 99¢ bracelet as a christmas present? This is a waste of everybody's time, huh? In the five minutes we've spent arguing, we probably already cost the company a dollar. That would take ten minutes. Oh, I'm sorry. Give me the bracelet. I wouldn't touch her if I were you. I need to see it. (Punching) oof! Honestly, I didn't know you were a prostitute. I'm not a prostitute. I'm a police officer pretending to be a prostitute. I know, I get that. I just didn't think you were a prostitute. The outfit really didn't sell it for me. Are you sayin' I don't know my job? No, I didn't--i mean you-- you look very trashy.

thank you. Hey, listen, officer. Look, I'm a cop, too. Yeah, right. If you're a cop, then where's your badge? Hey. I can't make bail. Why not? I maxed my credit cards out buying those grey cup tickets. We're going to be busy with grey cup rowdies, so we're going to let you go. But don't let it happen again. I want my belt. Aw, oscar. Geez, man. Just let it go. Russell, the dead man, he wanted me to have that belt. Oh, hey, get this. They're wearing these funny hats, right? And then--honk, honk. I want my belt. What's it gonna take for you and me to work this out? What size jacket's that? Well, no one's at the house. Oh, my feet are killin' me. Man, too bad this wasn't a walkathon. We could have raised some money. You just wanted to get me out in the middle of nowhere, another of your innocent victims, like in high school. If we were in high school, you'd have put the moves on me. I'd love to put the moves on you, but I've got jerry can elbow. You want to put the moves on me? I didn't mean it like that. I just meant obviously I'd like to put the moves on you. Right. Yeah, you've said that twice. Naturally I would want to put the moves on ya. That's three times. Explain this walkathon idea. I have to call the cops, you know? Go right ahead. You will be banned for life from all the dollar stores. You mean not all stores are separately owned and operated? Oh, yes, but when it comes to matters like this, the dollar stores will stand united. Ha-hey-hey, hey, champ. Hah-ha. That's--that's silly, isn't it? You know? Uh, why don't we just give you our grey cup tickets, huh? Really? Yeah. Wow. Well, yeah, o--okay. But what am I going to do with two tickets? Okay, I bail you out with my card, but I get a trip with your points? Canada or continental U.S. short haul? Long-haul business class or I walk away right now. Okay, fine. Let's just get out of here. Clerk: next? Hi. I'd like to-- (Phone rings) hello? I just scored two tickets to the grey cup. Want to go? Sure. Hey. You don't think I'm worth puttin' the moves on? No, it's not that. It's just that I'm lacking in the move department. Well, you've never even tried. You know, that kinda makes a girl feel unappreciated. You're not unappreciated. Trust me. I mean you're smart, you're pretty, we have lots of fun together. As far as I know, we're not related in any way. Then why not? Farmer: hey, caroline. What are you-- oh, sorry. I thought you were my cow. I got my belt and I got rid of that stupid jacket. This is the best day of my life. You got the tickets? Crap! Officer: hey, randy. Happy birthday, man. Oh. Thank you. Grey cup tickets? Well, yeah. All right! If we hurry, we can still make kick off. I still get the flight, though, right? Farmer: well, I got some good news. It isn't the engine that's broken. It's the gas gauge. But don't worry. I got a jerry can in the back. Wait for it. Farmer: what the heck? It's empty. A new password on a new day on ctv ( ) ( ) Stop dreaming. Start shopping.

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