CFCN - Sunday, May 26, 2024 - 01:30 a.m. (ET) - Segment #2

me where my office is. >> I wasn't aware that-- Mike, this is George Constanza. He's starting here today. >> Welcome aboard. >> Thanks, Mike. Nice to be aboard. >> I didn't even know Mr. Tuttle was finished interviewing. >> Oh, well, he was probably just getting anxious to start his vacation. (Laughter) >> He wants to know where his office is. >> Oh. Well, let's see. We've got two. There's the big one down the hall there and a small one over here. You know, I should ask Jack. >> Oh, leave Jack alone. Jack's got enough problems. (Chuckling) I'll just take the small office. >> Really? >> Yes. I like to feel cozy. I have a very small apartment. I like to feel tucked in, nestled in. Love to be nestled. >> Alright, alright. It's 808, right down there. Meanwhile, I'll get you the Pensky file, you can start working on that. >> Yes, yes of course, the Pensky file. Ho, ho, can't wait to sink my teeth into that. Wow that Pensky. Well, we'll straighten him out. (Chuckling) (Flicking) (Thud) (Audience laughter) (Ticking) (Sighing) (Audience laughter) (Whistling) (Audience laughter) >> So what did you do there all day? >> They gave me the Pensky file. (Audience laughter) >> So it's a nice place to work? >> You know, I'm enjoying it very much. I think my coworkers are really taking to me. We're like a family. In fact, yesterday was Grace's birthday. She's such a sweet woman. So we had a little party with cake and champagne. I made a toast. (Audience laughter) >> What about your boss, the guy who you interviewed you? >> He'll be back on Monday. >> Hi. >> Hey. >> Hi. >> Hey. How come you're wearing a hat? >> I got a haircut. >> Oh yeah? Can I see it? >> There's nothing to see. >> Come on, let me see it. >> Forget it. >> Come on. >> Alright. (Audience laughter) (Laughing) (Banging) All right. (Laughter continues) That's very good. Thank you. >> I'm sorry! I'm sorry! (Audience laughter) >> Yeah, well, I'll tell you this. You can forget about me going to that bachelor auction. >> What? No Jerry, you have to go. >> You know, Elaine, I'd do it but I'm working that day. >> Yeah, too bad. (Audience laughter) (Symphonic music) >> This is the worst haircut Jerry's ever had. You got to fix it. >> Sure, I fix it. But you got to make sure you no tell anybody. He's a little crazy. I don't know what he'd do, he found out I touch Jerry's hair. >> Yeah, yeah. >> So I love that Edward Scissorhands. That's the best movie I've ever seen. >> Ah, again with the Edward Scissorhands. How can you have hand like scissors, huh? Show me one person who's got a hand like scissors. >> Hey, it's a beautiful dream. I'd love to be this man. >> Did you ever think about what you're going to do on the toilet? What are you going to do on the toilet?! (Audience laughter) >> I'd like to have shoehorn hands. >> Hey. >> Hey. >> Hey. >> Okay, listen to me. I talked to Gino, he's going to fix the haircut. >> Oh great. Then you can go to the bachelor auction. >> Yeah, but-- >> No buts. His apartment tonight, 8:00. >> Can he fix it? >> I don't know. (Audience laughter) >> Boy, you got a beautiful head of hair. (Audience laughter) >> Thank you. >> I bet uncle Enzo, he tell you that all the time. >> Well, actually Enzo hasn't said that to me in a while. (Audience laughter) >> I don't think uncle Enzo realize what a lucky barber he is. >> That's nice of you to say. (Audience laughter) (Buzzing) >> Oh. Just a second. Yes. >>It's your uncle Enzo. >> It's Uncle Enzo! Quick, go in there. I'll clean up. Come on up.

(Knocking) Uncle Enzo, what are you doing here? >> I've come to apologize. >> Apologize? >> Yeah. I rented the movie Edward Scissorhands. That Johnny Depp, he make me cry. (Audience laughter) >> Oh! He make me cry too. You want something to drink? >> Hey! What's all of this? >> Nothing. It's just hair. >> You do haircut in the apartment? >> No. Pizza man was here. Maybe some fall off. He's going bald. >> It looks very familiar. She'll never bend the knee. The greens are coming for you, Rhaenyra, and for your children. (Dramatic music) Otto: It is your great privilege to witness this, a new day for our realm! (Cheering) (Roar) Rhaenyra: We don't choose our destiny. It chooses us. ( ) ( ) Stop dreaming. Start shopping. Red Tag Days are on at Toyota, with great offers on select models. Find yours today, at ShopToyota.ca Life can be chaotic. Real Estate doesn't have to be. We should talk. I'd love to be your realtor. Paul Ackerman, Remax Realty Professionals. 403 926 4435. June 2ndtogether as one, we walk to stop Crohn's and colitis. Create a team, walk individually or with family and friends. Make a difference in the lives of the 9500 people in Calgary affected by Crohn's or colitis. Register at GutsyWalk.ca An American icon. A world favourite. Airstream is the poster child for the RV life! And it's always home at Traveland RV! Canada's largest Airstream dealer. Traveland RV invites you into shop their incredile Airstream inventory. Shop classic models, plus modern style touring coaches, RV's and trailers. The recreation lifestyle, powered by Airstream and made reality across Western Canada at your Airstream product specialist, Traveland RV. Visit Airstream of Traveland dot com Welcome to Mountain House Furniture We specialize in unique, high quality, durable patio furniture from all over the world Beautiful, Elegant and Contemporary Mountain House Furniture made to last, made to enjoy! Okay, and root beer to drink? No. [gasping] What? He didn't get root beer? I'm getting frozen root beer. Oh! Try frozen A&W root beer with sweet cream. I can't believeall this was five bucks.I can't believe you brought mehe ( ) Right now,get a Chicken McMuffin with a hash brown and a small premium roastcoffee for five bucks. It's the People... and the Passion It's the Community... and the Commerce. It's looking back to help plan a better Future. For the Love of Our Province ... only on CTV. You've been waiting to get outand drive a New Nissan,great offersare ready So, check out all the latesttech, features and thrills - it's all happening right now. Now, at Nissan, lease select models from as low as 2.99% for 24 months. ( ) THE BEST COUNTRY ARTISTSTHE BIGGEST PARTY OF THE YEAR ITS COUNTRY THUNDER! COUNTRY THUNDER ALBERTA RETURNS TO CALGARY AUGUST 16-18 FEATURING LUKE COMBS HARDY, DALLAS SMITH AND MORE! TICKETS ARE SELLING FAST GET YOURS NOW AT COUNTRYTHUNDER.COM (Upbeat instrumental music) (Symphonic music) >> In the one minute that he worked on me, I could tell he was really good. >> Yeah. Slow, gentle, attentive. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I told you. Didn't I tell you? >> But Enzo picked up one of my hairs off the floor. >> Yeah, so? >> I think he knew. >> No, he doesn't know. >> How do you know? He knows my hair. >> Listen, you're just imagining things. He doesn't know a thing. Now, come on, pull yourself together. >> Okay, okay. >> What happened? It looks the same. >> He didn't get to finish it. His uncle came in. We almost got caught. (Audience laughter)

>> Jerry, the auction is in a few hours. >> Take the K-man. >> You can still go. (Audience laughter) >> What, are you kidding? Look at him. He's grotesque. >> You think? >> Do I think? He's repugnant. (Audience laughter) >> What would you wear? >> Whatever it takes. >> See, now Newman is a good customer. >> Once I find a barber, I stick with him. I almost went to barber school. I always felt I had a talent for it. >> Aw. Not everyone like Newman, so loyal. >> Yeah, just the way that I was raised. I'm special. (Audience laughter) >> You know, I don't mind if somebody's funny but I no like the funny business. >> I'm going to go out for a little bit. I'll be right back. >> Take your time. You happy with the haircut? >> It's okay. A little crooked. (Audience laughter) >> How you like to have free haircut for six months? >> What's the catch? >> You're going to get me a sample of Jerry's hair. >> Hm, that job sounds like it might be worth a year's free haircuts. And a comb. (Audience laughter) (Tapping) (Audience laughter) (Buzzing) >> Clarice:Mr. Costanza, Mr. Pensky is here to see you. (Audience laughter) >> Mr. Pensky? Of the Pensky file? >> Costanza? Arthur Pensky. >> Mr. Pensky. I was just working on your file. I was transferring the contents of the file into this flexible accordion-style folder to-- >> Where's Tuttle? >> He's on vacation. >> He was on vacation the last time I dropped by. Give me my file. Looks like you put a lot of work into this. >> Well, you know, in college they used to call me the little bulldog. >> Hey, you are Pensky material. Would you ever consider coming to work directly for me? >> Really? >> You are aware-- (Buzzing) >>Clarice:Mr.Castanza? >> Not now Clarice. >> Clarice:I thought Mr. Pensky should know they're towing his car. >> Damn this city! >> I am aware. I am aware. >> He knows. He knows about us. >> How do you know? >> Because I know. He's crazy. All morning, he looking at the hair. He staring at the hair. (Knocking) >> Who is it? >> Newman: It's Newman. >> (Gasping) He was in the shop with Enzo. He can't see me here. >> Alright, go in the bedroom. Open the window. You can go out the fire escape. (Audience laughter) What do you want? >> Could I use your bathroom? (Audience laughter) >> What's wrong with yours? >> My toilet's clogged. >> You can't unclog it? >> No. >> Did you ask Kramer? >> He's out. >> Number one? >> Yes, yes. May I go? >> Go ahead. >> 'Cause I got to go very badly. >> Flush twice. >> Thank you. >> Newman:No. Jackpot. (Laughs) I don't believe this. There's no hair in this thing. I've never seen a person that didn't have at least one hair in a brush. (Audience laughter) Unbelievable, nothing. Ah. (Flushing) >> You alright? >> Yeah, yeah. >> Alright, I'll see you later. >> What are you doing? >> I'm watching Edward Scissorhands. >> Oh. Could I watch a little? It's my favourite movie. >> Yeah alright. You want something to drink? >> No. (Laughing) (Audience laughter) >> If you want to watch, sit down. You're making me nervous. I tell you, this Scissorhands is a hell of a barber. (Snipping) >> Got to go. Oh gee, I dropped a nickel. See you, Jerry. (Evil laughter) (Audience laughter) >> Did you get it? (Evil chuckling) Oh, you done good Newman.

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