Advertisement

CBWT - Monday, May 27, 2024 - 12:00 a.m. (ET) - Segment #1

Call CHIP today and live retirement your way. Announcer:The following CBCoriginalprogram is available with described video. [ ] >> Rick: Good evening. I'm Rick Mercer. This is the Mercer Report. [ Cheering ] >> Rick: Well, thank you. Thank you very much. Very good news, after all this time. Jann Arden returned my calls and is our special guest on tonight's show. [ Cheering ] >> Rick: Yeah. Very exciting. I take Jann on a date to the Calgary Zoo. They have lemurs, flamingos, red river hogs. It really is one of the most diverse cafeteria menus in the country. All that and so much more, but first, please, take a look at this. [ ] [ Kids Chattering ] >> Rick: Hello, and welcome to Calgary, Alberta, home to one of the oldest zoos in the country, the Calgary Zoo, one of my favourite places to hang out in the entire country, home to literally hundreds of animals, and I'm here to spend some time with my favourite creature, the one and only Jann Arden. Hello, Jann Arden. >> Hello, Rick Mercer. >> Rick: Thank you for being here. [ She Exhales ] >> Rick: Thank you for spending time with me today. >> I'm a little nervous. >> Rick: It's a date. >> It is. >> Rick: It is. >> It's our-- kind of an anniversary for us. >> Rick: We've done this many times before. >> Tenth show! >> Rick: It is, our tenth episode together. >> Yes. >> Rick: Okay. What's new at the zoo? >> Everything's new at the zoo. >> Rick: Okay. >> Let's go find out. >> Rick: Let's go find out. [ ] >> Rick: Normally when we go on a date, we just dive right in. >> We go, we're unattended, and we just take our chances. >> Rick: We just do it. >> Yup. >> Rick: But that doesn't really work at a zoo, because we wanna get behind the scenes, correct? >> Yeah, we wanna do it. >> Rick: And we need and expert, which brings us to-- >> We have one! >> Rick: --Dr Malu. Dr Malu, hello. Nice to see you. >> Hello. >> Hi. >> Sorry to crush the date. >> No, we're so glad to have you along! >> Rick: No, we're so happy to have you! >> She's more of a chaperone. >> Rick: You are a doctor. You have your PhD? >> I do, indeed. >> Rick: Okay, so you know everything that we will need to know about the animals here at the zoo. >> Everything about the animals at the zoo, absolutely. >> Rick: Okay, where should we start? You've got lemurs! >> We have lemurs. We just opened, so it's super exciting, and I would love to share them with you. [ ] >> This is for the lemurs. >> Rick: That's what they eat. >> Romaine? >> Romaine. >> Rick: So, they're a sad animal. You haven't gone vegetarian, have you? >> I don't eat meat. >> Rick: Since when? >> I'm not vegan, but I don't eat... >> Rick: I've seen you eat meat. That's so not cool! >> I eat a little bit of chicken that I kill myself. >> Rick: You-- what was the deep-fried thing you made me eat? >> I don't-- I have no idea what he's talking about. >> I don't know. >> Rick: She eats meat. >> Anyway, back to the lemurs. >> Back to the lemurs, and then veggies. >> Rick: She has a voracious appetite for meat. I have a question. >> Yes? >> Rick: What's a lemur? >> So, a lemur is a prosimian, which is a type of primate. >> Rick: Okay. >> So, they're not monkeys. They're not cats or raccoons. >> Rick: Okay. Oh, this is nice. This is the lemur habitat. >> Dr Malu: Oh, don't fall, Jann. Maybe come through the rocks. >> Rick: Oh, no, it's okay if she does. >> Dr Malu: It's very-- [ Jann Screams ] >> Rick: She-- she bounces. >> Dr Malu: --very hazardous. It is very healthy. >> That looks good. >> Rick: You can get that at Starbucks for $11. But you also get a boiled egg. >> Come on, sweetheart. >> Rick: Oh, my gosh, look at them. >> Oh! Oh-oh! >> Rick: Oh! [ Rick Laughs ] >> Sort of-- oh! [ ] >> Oh, my gosh! >> Dr Malu: So, this is a bachelorette group, and they're ring-tailed lemurs. >> Rick: This is a bachelorette group? >> Jann: They're all girls. >> Dr Malu: Yes, so they're seven girls. >> Oh-oh-oh-oh. >> The oldest is 19, and the youngest-- >> Rick: Don't be afraid of a lemur! >> But it was coming right for my head! >> The youngest is 11, so 11 to 19. >> Rick: Right, that's a tough age. [ ] >> Jann: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. >> Rick: Stop being afraid. It's silly to be afraid of something that look-- >> Jann: I just had visions of it leaping onto my chest. >> Rick: Wait till its-- >> You'll be fine. >> Rick: --7-inch long forked tongue comes out at you. >> But isn't this amazing that you can get so close? >> Rick: It is. >> I have had that, like, a date, two weeks ago. >> So, that is a point of this exhibit, so people have those close encounters, and they can fall in love with lemurs in Madagascar. [ ] >> Rick: Okay, Jann Arden, you have a new record coming out. >> I do, in February of next year, 2018. I'm so sorry. >> Rick: Okay, well, that's a while away. >> But it's still-- >> Rick: But you have a big tour coming up for Christmas.

>> Yes. >> Rick: Tell us about that. >> I'm going across the country with a symphony, so from Victoria all the way to, you know, the East. >> Rick: And you got a book coming out? >> November the 21st. It's called Feeding My Mother. It's about-- >> Rick: Is it-- really? >> Yeah, it's about my-- >> Rick: Feeding your mother. >> Well, my mom has Alzheimer's. >> Rick: Yeah. >> And so, I've just been writing about my-- looking after my parents for the last five or six years. >> Rick: Okay, this is a comedy show. Remember that. >> It's-- I know. >> Rick: But it's probably the lighter side. >> Alzheimer's-- Alzheimer's is hilarious. >> Rick: So, it's-- so Feeding My Mother, and that's in bookstores in November. >> My mom, I'll tell you what... The Alzheimer's people do come in handy in a lot of ways, and people are gonna send me letters, but my mom will mop my floor multiple times a day. I know that's awful, but she wants to keep active and keep busy. And it's not terrible. >> Rick: No. >> She's like, "Well, I would love to!" [ ] >> Rick: They are something called the red river hog. >> They are weird-looking hogs. >> Rick: There's a Red River, Alberta? >> Yes, there is, but they're from the Congo. >> So, we can't give it all, but we can definitely share. >> Rick: But they're pigs, right? Don't they eat like pigs? >> They are-- they're pigs. They're hogs, yup. >> Rick: Will they eat meat? >> No! >> We don't feed them, but they-- >> They would? >> --technically could. >> Rick: Could, or would, or would die for a steak? >> Probably would. >> This is their little bell that they come runnin' for the food, and Rick is gonna feed them. >> Rick: Feed them the sadness. Hey, buddy. >> Scattering food! >> Rick: What's wrong with their face? >> Oh, nothing. They are beautiful. You don't think they're beautiful? >> Rick: I do. I do think they're beautiful. That's what I meant to say-- "What makes them so pretty?" >> Dr Malu: They just grow these sort of warts. >> Rick: Warts on their face, Jann. >> I don't mind a wart. I can kiss around that. [ ] >> So, let's go in. >> Rick: Is that what we're feeding. >> Yeah! >> Yeah! >> Rick: We're gonna feed these? >> Dr Malu: Meerkats! >> Jann: It's moving! >> Rick: Look at this. >> Dr Malu: So, just so the camera sees. >> Jann: Oh, [ Bleep ]! >> Rick: Jann, Jann! You can't swear! >> Sorry. I'm sorry. Gee whiz. >> Rick: 8:00. >> Gee whiz! >> Rick: If I eat one, you'll eat one? >> I am [ Bleep ] not eating that! >> You're taking food away from the animals! >> Rick: Okay, here, hold it. >> Oh, gee whiz, that's so-- >> Rick: See, you did it. >> Oh, I can't do it! I can't do it! I am not eating-- Rick! Rick! >> Rick: Give me a kiss. >> No! Is this Fear Factor? What happened to this show? >> Rick: I don't-- >> I am not putting that in my mouth. >> Rick: I've heard that. >> And I've said that to Rick for ten years. >> Rick: You've never had worms? >> Yeah, I have had worms as a child-- >> Rick: Yeah. >> --'cause I ate garbage. >> In the different way. >> Rick: Well, I didn't, because my parents gave me worm medicine. >> My mom used Scotch tape on my bum to pull them out, and that's a true story. I'm not kidding. I... >> Rick: Oh. >> I tell it the way it is. >> Rick: That's so horrible. >> She brought me into the bathroom, and flicked the light on-- >> Rick: Stop. >> --and then used Scotch tape to get them. >> Rick: You have no censor. Like, what other woman would go on television and say that? >> Céline! >> Rick: I'm not saying it's a bad thing. >> Shania, Sarah. Uh, all those girls have worm stories, I'm sure! [ ] >> Rick: I think this date is going very well. >> I'm actually gonna agree with you, Rick Mercer. >> Rick: And it's not over. >> It's not over. I'm-- >> Rick: No! >> I'm having a good time. >> Rick: We're gonna do more things...after this, later in the show. >> Let's-- let's go eat something. >> Rick: Okay, and then we'll be back. [ ] >> Hockey Announcer: ..tipped into the net. Great shot! Score on the backdoor! >> [ Bleep ]! [ Bleep ]! >> Dad, that phrase is totally not cool anymore. >> Rick: What?! I didn't mean anything by it. Gah! >> In these fast-moving times, it can be hard for some folks to keep up with technology, terminology and what's socially acceptable. >> That's why we've opened, A Place For Dad. >> Rick: If I hit "reply-all", why does the entire world find out about it? >> At A Place For Dad, we'll start your father off with the fundamentals of texting, emails, social media and downloading new apps. >> Try attaching this GIF. >> Rick: Okay! So, the cat is scared by the cucumber over and over again. >> Exactly. >> Rick: Who-- who wants that? >> Even though his heart may be in the right place, many terms Dad has been using for years are no longer acceptable. We offer a full vocabulary reset. >> I meant it as a compliment! >> No, you can't say that. >> Finally, Dad will be placed into various virtual social experiences, preparing him for any interaction. >> My partner transitioned. We got married and now we're looking at a townhouse. >> Rick: Congratulations. >> Not bad. >> A Place For Dad, because he's one forwarded joke away from being fired. >> Rick: I didn't say a thing about the barber. [ ] Steve Jobs: We are calling it iPhone! Why would anybody want a phone without a keyboard? [upbeat electronic] >> Andrew Chang: May is Asian Heritage Month. Join us in celebrating the many contributions that Asian Canadians make to Canada.

Copyright protected and owned by broadcaster. Your licence is limited to private, internal, non-commercial use. All reproduction, broadcast, transmission or other use of this work is strictly prohibited.

Transcripts