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Carmelo Anthony prefers 'natural herbs' to Joakim Noah's banned substance

Ben Rohrbach
·Senior NBA writer
Carmelo Anthony is all about sustainability. (AP)
Carmelo Anthony is all about sustainability. (AP)

For a dude who’s sported fur in the locker room and whose “friends'” marijuana found its way into his gear not once, but twice, we shouldn’t be surprised Carmelo Anthony is “more of a natural guy.” That philosophy apparently extends to the New York Knicks star’s stance on performance-enhancing drugs.

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Asked about teammate Joakim Noah’s 20-game suspension for his alleged use of Androgen, a steroid-like testosterone-boosting substance banned by the NBA, Anthony shared his extremely mellow thoughts on injury recovery agents after Monday’s 109-95 win over the Pistons. Via the New York Post:

In the wake of @stickity13’s banned-substance suspension, @nyknicks teammate @carmeloanthony endorsed herbal alternatives

A post shared by Ball Don't Lie (@yahooballdontlie) on Mar 28, 2017 at 9:05am PDT

“I’m more of a kind of a natural guy, juiceball guy, Chinese herbs, African herbs,” said Anthony. “That’s what I’m into. If you look at the banned substances, the list goes on and on. Changes are made that you have no clue. It makes it harder. It’s protocol you have to go through. For me, I stay away from pills — more of a natural guy.”

I don’t know what juiceballs are, although they’re apparently a thing, and many people swear by herbal medicine from China and Africa, but “African Herbsman” is also the title track to a Bob Marley album that features weed anthems like “Kaya,” so the Melo jokes practically write themselves.

Does this look like a man who’s “kind of a natural guy, juiceball guy, Chinese herbs, African herbs”?

Yes, yes it does.

We should’ve assumed Melo was into the alternative medicinal qualities of natural herbs when his wife Lala revealed he wears a bathrobe with his name stitched on the breast to his local bodega.

LATE NIGHT CHRONICLES WITH MELO #stayme7o ????????

A post shared by LaLa (@lala) on Aug 25, 2016 at 7:54pm PDT

But it’s nice to be able to confirm our suspicions once and for all.

African herbsman, seize your time
I’m takin’ illusion on the edge of my mind
I’m takin’ losers down through my life

That’s quite an anthem for the 2016-17 New York Knicks.

Meanwhile, Noah would’ve been better served by Melo’s medical advice, since he stands to lose $3 million as a result of his suspension. Speaking of which, the Knicks are trying to rush their injured $72 million center back from what was presumed to be season-ending left knee surgery last month, so he can begin serving a portion of his 20-game ban and be available earlier next season in New York.

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Noah met with team doctors on Monday night in hopes of being cleared for Tuesday’s practice, according to the New York Post’s Marc Berman, and it appears he received clearance from the Knicks:

His “return” would still require approval by league doctors. Should that happen, he could knock eight games off his suspension while still resting his knee for the remainder of the year. Plus, front-row seats at Madison Square Garden is the perfect place to experiment with Melo’s herbal medicine.

It’s just too bad one of the most widely accepted natural remedies is also a banned NBA substance.

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Ben Rohrbach is a contributor for Ball Don’t Lie and Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at rohrbach_ben@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!