Yahoo Sports Bryan Harsin the zombie, and Halloween costumes for 13 other SEC coaches | Opinion
When it comes to Halloween, there's a perfect costume for everyone.
And that includes Southeastern Conference football coaches.
They're not all flattering, and a few might be downright mean, but they're all the right size.
So with the Night of Free Candy fast approaching, here's a look at how we would send each SEC coach out for some trick-or-treating (listed alphabetically by school).
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Happy Halloween!
Alabama's Nick Saban: dirty laundry
Alabama improved its season-long penalty woes with just three in a home win over Mississippi State, but there's still a smell in the hamper, because it's on the road where the flags really fly. UA ranks 130th out of 131 FBS teams with 69 penalties, and with road games at LSU and Ole Miss still looming, Saban's washing machine will need to work overtime.
Arkansas' Sam Pittman: Buzz Lightyear
He's convinced he can lead the Razorbacks to infinity and beyond. But much like the "Toy Story" character's world was confined to a bedroom, Arkansas' potential as a program has its limits. Sure, Buzz Pittman can fly. From the ceiling fan.
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Auburn's Bryan Harsin: zombie
Nobody personifies the walking dead better.
Florida's Billy Napier: skeleton
Gator football will always have good bones, thanks to the recruiting-rich territory of the Sunshine State, and UF currently has the No. 8-ranked signing class in the country. But Napier is quickly learning that just about everything else is missing. There won't be enough meat on the frame until he adds a big-time quarterback and builds a more reliable defense.
Georgia's Kirby Smart & Tennessee's Josh Heupel (duo): Batman & Robin
As a defending national championship coach who is 5-0 against rival Tennessee, Kirby Smart isn't ready to give up the cowl in the SEC East. Tennessee (7-0) could easily topple the Bulldogs come Nov. 5 (Holy Upsets, Batman!), but that's five days after Halloween. Until then, Heupel remains the yellow-caped sidekick.
Kentucky's Mark Stoops: Wicked Witch
Started out strong, but now the season is melting ... melting ... melting.
LSU's Brian Kelly: magician
Given the mess he inherited from Ed Orgeron, what Kelly has done with LSU in his first year is one helluva card trick. The Tigers, 6-7 a year ago, are 6-2 and hitting an offensive stride just in time for the stretch run. For his next trick, Kelly tries to pull the SEC West rabbit from his hat.
Mississippi State's Mike Leach: dinosaur
According to the Mississippi State coach, the evolutionary fate of shrinking dinosaur hands might one day afflict Bulldogs players if they don't make better use of their hands on the field. It was expert-level trolling from Leach, who seemed to be making a thinly veiled reference to Alabama going unpenalized for holding infractions in the Crimson Tide's 30-6 win. Nobody dodges the fine for criticizing refs with more creativity than Leach.
Missouri's Eli Drinkwitz: Homer Simpson
Across four losses this season, Drinkwitz's team has 1) missed a 26-yard field goal that would've beaten Auburn; 2) let Auburn off the hook again with an overtime fumble at the 1-yard line; 3) blew a fourth-quarter 10-point lead against Georgia; 4) Threw a pick six in a seven-point loss to Florida. Only one word can summarize it all: "Doh!"
Ole Miss' Lane Kiffin: Transformer
For a coach who loves passing the ball, Kiffin has morphed into a different species this year. The Rebels are averaging more yards on the ground than they are through the air, and they're leading the SEC in rushing.
South Carolina's Shane Beamer: vampire
The Gamecocks' offense sucks the life right out of you.
Texas A&M's Jimbo Fisher: pirate
Kevin Sumlin's winning percentage at Texas A&M was .662. Jimbo Fisher's is .672. Sumlin was fired after six seasons, while Fisher was extended with a fully-guaranteed $95 million contract. In a costume borrowed from Mike Leach, Jimbo dons the pirate look because at this point, he's stealing that $95 million.
Vanderbilt's Clark Lea: ghost
Commodores football: still invisible.
Follow Chase Goodbread on Twitter @chasegoodbread.
This article originally appeared on The Tuscaloosa News: Halloween costume ideas for all 14 SEC football coaches
