Adrian Peterson's shot at appeal as laughable as NFLPA's feeble swipes at Goodell

Adrian Peterson's season is done. Close the polling stations, turn out the lights and lock the doors.

Of course, we'll hear plenty of ineffectual grandstanding and crankiness from the NFL players union (certainties trailing only death and taxes). And an appeal has already been announced, which will be fruitless. Perhaps Peterson will publicly lament his final judgment, which essentially amounts to a 15-game suspension and a fine equal to his last six game checks.

But if you're a Minnesota Vikings fan, or an Adrian Peterson fan, or just playing a contrarian, don't waste the oxygen. All that remains is paper-shuffling and tens of thousands of dollars in billable hours for the lawyers. It will all end at the same place: Peterson will be suspended, the NFL Players Association will be powerless, and the league's best running back will start to think about the remainder of his career.

If Peterson's case has taught us anything, it's two things:

First, in the wake of the league's Ray Rice meltdown, Goodell and the rest of the Park Avenue droid army won't be gambling on conduct anymore. All the house money has been lost (and then some). If a player hits a woman and the league feels its image will be hurt, the player will be suspended and fined. Maybe he'll have his career ended. And a child? Hit a child and make the league look bad, you're going to lose a lot of money and a lot of games.

None of this is a commentary on the morals of these decisions. It's a statement of the NFL's new world: Don't make the NFL look bad. Don't upset sponsors. Don't do things that make the league look morally bankrupt. God forbid there is another "South Park" episode featuring the "Goodell Bot."

And the second thing we've learned? The union has been obliterated when it comes to the NFL's conduct decisions. Players would be better off driving to the league office and spitting on the front door than having faith in a union that gets a laughable amount of respect from Goodell. At no point was this more clear than when the NFLPA set a "deadline" for the league to take Peterson off of the commissioner's exempt list, or the union threatened to pursue an expedited grievance.

You can bet that elicited laughs and eye-rolls in the NFL offices that day. That's if the league noticed at all. Goodell and his minions fear the NFLPA and its threats of grievances and appeals the way a circus spectator fears a clown wielding a bucket of confetti.

And then there was Tuesday's NFLPA statement on Peterson's suspension. Italics have been added to help translate. Behold:

"The decision by the NFL to suspend Adrian Peterson is another example of the credibility gap that exists between the agreements they make and the actions they take. Since Adrian's legal matter was adjudicated, the NFL has ignored their obligations and attempted to impose a new and arbitrary disciplinary proceeding."

Translation: "The league is doing whatever it wants."

"The facts are that Adrian has asked for a meeting with Roger Goodell, the discipline imposed is inconsistent and an NFL executive told Adrian that his time on the Commissioner's list would be considered as time served."

Translation: "Adrian wanted to meet with the commissioner on his terms and not the league's, but it wouldn't agree to it. Can you believe that? And we think someone told Adrian there was going to be a totally different punishment at the end of the road, but we don't really know if that's true and we can't prove it, so we'll just say 'an NFL executive.' Sorta like when the media uses semi-anonymous sourcing that we can't stand."

"The NFLPA will appeal this suspension and will demand that a neutral arbitrator oversee the appeal."

Translation: "We hope to someday actually win an important arbitration. Otherwise, we really gained nothing in the last collective bargaining agreement. We also hope nobody notices this. Here's a balloon for you to hold. It's shiny."

"We call on the NFL Management Council to show our players and our sponsors leadership by committing to collective bargaining so a fair personal conduct policy can be implemented as quickly as possible."

Translation: "Can anyone hear us out there? Mayday, mayday…Please send help."

The bottom line in all of this is that Peterson's case has served as a glance forward. It's the first significant conduct incident that comes in the "ARR" (After Ray Rice) era. And it showcases what we all expected.

When it comes to its image off the field, the league and Roger Goodell aren't playing around. Turn out the lights.