Robert Lewandowski scores five goals in nine minutes for Bayern Munich (Video)

What do you even say? What's there to write that could possibly explain what happened?

Robert Lewandowski came on at halftime of Tuesday's Bayern Munich vs. Wolfsburg Bundesliga match. His Bayern had been in trouble in the first half, going down 1-0 and very nearly gave up a second on a shot from the halfway line that pinged off the post when goalkeeper Manuel Neuer was spotted 50 yards out of his goal.

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And then the Polish striker entered the fray to bail out his team.

That's when he began scoring goals.

In the 51st minute.

And in the 52nd minute.

And the 55th minute.

The 57th minute.

Oh, and in the 60th minute.

Yes. Five goals. Five. In nine minutes. And each one was seemingly prettier than the last.

If this had been a video game, it would clearly have been time to raise the difficulty by a few levels. Or you would have assumed that the software had some kind of bug that inexplicably turned Lewandowski into a sort of goal-scoring Godzilla, smashing down buildings and pummeling balls into Wolfsburg's net.

It took less than 10 minutes for Lewandowski to boost his league goals total for the season from three to eight, and his team's from 15 to 20. Even though Thomas Muller had already scored six league goals in four games coming into the game, Lewandowski has now scored 40 percent of Bayern's league goals.

But none of that context helps to clarify the utterly perplexing. Like that time Robert Lewandowski scored five times in nine minutes against the third-best team in the Bundesliga in a 5-1 victory.

Because what do you even say? What's there to write that could possible explain what happened?

Pep Guardiola's reaction sums up the spectacle perfectly.

Leander Schaerlaeckens is a soccer columnist for Yahoo Sports. Follow him on Twitter @LeanderAlphabet.