Spider-Man meets the Stanley Cup and Los Angeles Kings captain Dustin Brown (PHOTO)

[INT — Daily Bugle publisher's office, photo desk]

"CRAP … CRAP … CRAP … WHAT IS IT YOU MORONS DON'T UNDERSTAND? THERE ARE ONLY TWO THINGS PEOPLE IN THIS CITY CARE ABOUT: SPORTS AND SPIDER-MAN! SO GET ME THAT CRIMINAL WEB-SLINGER NEXT TO THE HEISMAN! GET ME THAT MENACE TO SOCIETY HOLDING THE SUPER BOWL TROPHY! PARKER!!!??? WHAT'S THAT HOCKEY CUP!?"

"Uh, Stanley?"

"STAN LEE? SOUNDS MADE UP."

(Off Camera) "Excelsior, fair citizens!"

• • •

In a related story, Dustin Brown took the Stanley Cup to the premiere of "The Amazing Spider-Man" on Thursday night, and tweeted the image above.

This continued a red carpet tradition that also saw hockey's Holy Grail attend the premiere of "The Love Guru" with Chris Osgood and, of course, Mini-Me.

Here's the Los Angeles Kings captain on the red carpet, featuring your Friendly Neighborhood Cos-Player:

Hey, we're just happy that Spider-Man was finally reunited with the Stanley Cup after 10 years. Remember when the Web-Slinger met Luc Robitaille at Universal Studios? (Warning: One bit of NSFW language)