What's buzzing:

Puck Daddy

Patrick Kane shows up to Buffalo men's league game, destroys everyone

Harrison Mooney
Puck Daddy
Chicago Blackhawks' Patrick Kane (88), right, controls the puck against Los Angeles Kings' Jeff Carter (77) during the first period in Game 1 of the Western Conference finals in the NHL hockey Stanley Cup playoffs in Chicago on Sunday, May 18, 2014
.

View photo

Chicago Blackhawks' Patrick Kane (88), right, controls the puck against Los Angeles Kings' Jeff Carter (77) during the first period in Game 1 of the Western Conference finals in the NHL hockey Stanley Cup playoffs in Chicago on Sunday, May 18, 2014. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)

Buffalo Sabres fans were disheartened to learn that Patrick Kane had signed an eight-year, $84 million contract extension with the Chicago Blackhawks, a deal that will likely prevent him from coming home, Lebron-style, for the remainder of his NHL career.

But while the Buffalo native may not play for the local NHL team any time soon, Kane did swing through town on Monday to play for another local team: the Piranhas, one of the clubs in Buffalo's Performax Hockey League.

And while it may be Kaner's offseason, showtime doesn't take summers off. Note the boxscore:

View photo

.
Patrick Kane is good.

Patrick Kane is good.

5 goals, 5 assists, in a 13-5 victory. He matched the scoring from the Essex St. Pub singlehandedly. Poor Mike Magnifici did his best, but in the end, Kane made him look like Mike Mediocri, amirite y'all?

The league took notice of the ringer and his standout skill:

Granted, Kane's no Vinny Scarsella, what of his seven-goal performance, although I'd be willing to wager that all 5 of Kane's apples came on Scarsella goals. Still, the Blackhawks should look into Scarsella. After all, now that they've got Kane and Toews signed, they're going to build the supporting cast on the cheap. I'll bet Scarsella would come for league minimum.

All of this bolsters my growing theory that the only thing worse than an NHLer showing up at your pick-up game is a tiny NHLer. The big ones know how to coast. The little ones, however? They have no off-switch. When you're undersized, the only way you're getting to the NHL is if you compete harder than everyone else, and you're completely incapable of mailing it in.

One time I played against Cliff Ronning in a charity road hockey game. There were kids there. Ronning didn't care. You'd have thought we were playing a real-life game of NHLPA 93. The man has no intensity level below "all".

Anyway, this is one theory. The other theory is that Kane saw "Buffalo", observed the quality of play, and thought he was playing the Sabres.

Stick-tap Eye on Hockey

View Comments (175)
  • Islanders start fast, roll past Kings

    Islanders start fast, roll past Kings

    The New York Islanders got off to another fast start at home and came up with a big win against the Pacific Division-leading Los Angeles Kings. John Tavares had a goal and an assist, Thomas Greiss stopped 28 shots and the Islanders scored three … More »

    AP - Sports - 5 hours ago
  • Karri Ramo hurt in wild Flames win over Sharks

    Karri Ramo hurt in wild Flames win over Sharks

    Said Calgary coach Bob Hartley, "Gutsy effort from our guys. I'm very proud of our team." … More »

    Puck Daddy - 6 hours ago
  • Hudler wins it for the Flames 6-5 over Sharks in shootout

    Hudler wins it for the Flames 6-5 over Sharks in shootout

    Jonas Hiller was more spectator than participant and was only concerned that Calgary had taken too many penalties in the third period. Juri Hudler scored the winning goal in the shootout, leading the Flames past the San Jose Sharks 6-5 on Thursday … More »

    The Canadian Press - 6 hours ago
  • Flames goaltender Ramo leaves game with apparent leg injury

    Calgary Flames goaltender Karri Ramo left Thursday night's game against the San Jose Sharks with an apparent lower leg injury. Ramo, who stopped 29 of 34 shots before being helped off the ice with three minutes remaining in the third period, was … More »

    The Canadian Press - 6 hours ago
  • Flames-Coyotes Preview

    Just over three weeks ago, Arizona was sitting in second place and trying to snap a three-game losing streak to avoid conceding a spot in the standings. A fourth could be on the way Friday night with streaking Calgary stopping in Arizona to … More »

    AP - Sports - 6 hours ago