Pass or Fail: New Dallas Stars mascot Victor E. Green, a weird alien booger thing

The Dallas Stars are clearly a franchise on the upswing, what with last season’s spiffy new uniforms, playoff appearance and star players like Tyler Seguin, Jamie Benn and Jason Spezza.

But something was missing.

Something large. And green.

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Perhaps something with hockey stick antennae. Something that can visit Dallas area car dealerships and elementary schools for some soft huggin’ and shenanigans.

Say hello to Victor E. Green, the latest addition to the pantheon of NHL plushies. It’s the first time Dallas has had a mascot since the trade of Steve Ott.

Green, who we’ll go ahead and assume was named for the man who stole hockey from Minnesota, was revealed by the team on Saturday and immediately starting doing what mascots do, which is embracing people in front of cameras.

As you can see from his bio, he’s an alien who lives with a Zamboni, and how that’s not already an FXX sitcom we’re not sure. He likes “hugs, high-fours and Stars fans.” He dislikes “Sharks and Ducks,” so he's apparently is a realignment denier.

He also dislikes “the color blue”; jeez, man, Jerry Jones has been through enough. No need to pile on…

Here’s a snippet of his first interview:

And so the world is given a Phillie Phanatic knock-off with the Blue Jacket mascot’s antennae and Andy Rooney's eyebrows; a mascot who sorta looks like Tony Hale when his head is pointed downward.

The response has been as expected, with the usual claims of it being ridiculous or the ever-popular “nightmare fuel.” (Although we did enjoy the claim that it looked like “a booger with legs.”)

This ignores a basic fact about NHL mascots, which is much like the “Star Wars” prequels, they’re not for you. They’re for little, tiny you from years ago, who went to the game as much for the plushie hugs and the T-shirt cannon than for an overtime thriller.

To that end, Victor E. Green would appear to be a welcome addition to the NHL family. But again: The bar is set oh so very low.

So, with that ... PASS OR FAIL: The new Dallas Stars mascot.