Jersey Fouls: Swedish massages and King Arnold Schwarzenegger

Calgary Flames announced that hulking, cement skates defenseman Douglas Murray has been signed on a tryout basis during their playoff push.

God-willing there’s enough time left in the season for Flames fans to go ahead and grab their own Murray-inspired Jersey Fouls.

Such as this San Jose Sharks classic from Peter Santangeli, taken at the Shark Tank this season.

[SEE DOZENS MORE JERSEY FOULS ON THE OFFICIAL PUCK DADDY JERSEY FOUL TUMBLR!]

Writes Peter: “I can only imagine she is a fan of Douglass Murray.”

And, obviously, his hands.

(For the record, his nickname is Crankshaft, which is unexpectedly slightly less salacious than this.)

Coming Up: More Sharks Fouls; a Corey Perry goof; Connor McDavid fouls; honoring The Terminator; and a rather deplorable Washington Capitals Foul.

And here … we ... go.

Via Larry McCurtis from (where else?) the Shark Tank:

Not only was this bad mother rocking a hoody under his sweater, he also had a half burned cigarette behind his left ear. And a sweet prison tattoo. Spotted at the Tank, Feb. 26, sharks vs wings.

Jersey Fouls godfather Seth Rorabaugh disagrees with us about hoodies under sweaters, which we feel are fine. But the rest of it is a total … wait, prison tats? It’s a pass a total pass nothing to see here move along…

From Scott comes this Buffalo Sabres obsolete third jersey (well, another one) that inexplicably has an upside down Nathan Gerbe nameplate. Maybe they constantly get dressed doing a headstand into a mirror.

(For the record, a Gerbe jersey with an almost unreadable small font size might not be a Foul, because it'd be hilarious...)

Here’s a double Connor McDavid Jersey Foul from the Toronto Maple Leafs vs. the Buffalo Sabres this week, via @ScottT81.

Major points for repurposing a Tim Connolly jersey like this. Talk about trying to forget the past and look toward the future (that still might not happen, but at least you’re not wearing a Tim Connolly jersey anymore).

"I'LL DECIDE?"

Decide what? Is this a judge? A ref? Someone in college admissiions?

And do people ever thank Rod Brind'Amour for making it a necessity that every pro shop carry apostrophes?

Yes, it’s a Scorey Perry Nickname Sweater, honoring the Anaheim Ducks sniper. It’s an official nickname, which is nice. But all we can do when we look at this is calculate all the things that could have been purchased with the money wasted on those extra letters.

Here’s Dean Vendouris with an epic Los Angeles Kings Jersey Foul:

Never played the game. Was a lousy governor. Our 45th president?  Plenty of stains on the lower part of the jersey near the CCM. This era jersey ended nearly 15 years earlier - did he get it made back then, or recently ?  It was an authentic, so he probably pit out 400 or more for it. So many questions. Not one good answer.

If only there was a way to send an assassin back in time to make sure this jersey purchase never happened …

Finally … sigh.

From ‘MChisholm’ comes this Washington Capitals foulest of Fouls. Get a load of this:

We actually saw a poor image of this back in 2012, but this is the first time “MAN JUICE” was captured in all its glory.

‘MChisholm’ said this “(somehow) made me more ashamed to be a Caps fan.”

[SEE DOZENS MORE JERSEY FOULS ON THE OFFICIAL PUCK DADDY JERSEY FOUL TUMBLR!]

If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in future installment.