The room is dark. You're in the last moments of slumber, rapt in a dream and nestled under blankets. It's cozy, comforting, safe.
And what better way to wake from that siesta than with pulsating red lights and an air raid siren blaring in your face?
The "Goal Light Alarm Clock" is, simultaneously, the greatest and most horrifying way to wake up. On the one hand, it will get your ass out of bed quicker than, say, a fast-approaching fire engine pointed at your bedroom would.
On the other hand, it may make your heart explode.
(Unless, of course, you were dreaming about scoring the game-winning goal in a Game 7 overtime and this alarm clock syncs up perfectly. But that might require an Inception.)
The alarm clock comes from FanFever, and it will set you back $35.99. All 30 NHL teams are available, which means you can wake up to something Minnesota Wild players sometimes go weeks without seeing.
But what if a Goal Light Alarm Clock isn't your thing? Turns out, there are other common household items that can be transformed into hockey scoring celebrations …
Items such as …
The Goal Light Christmas Tree, which can include a big light on top ($49.99) and mini-goal light ornaments ($9.99). Tree not included.
The Goal Light Pen, perfect for when you want to alert everyone that you've had a brainstorm. ($11.99)
The Goal Light Bottle Opener, because this is how we all feel about beer. Or at least should. ($15.99)
And if there's beer, there must be …
Yes, it's the Goal Light Pizza Cutter ($19.99). The model's called the "Byfuglien."