NASHVILLE – There’s a lot of curiosity surrounding the 2016 NHL All-Star Game in Nashville, from the new 3-on-3 tournament format to the selection of noted enforcer John Scott as captain.
But none of it matches the hype surrounding a giant cheese fountain.
Every since it was announced that Velveeta was going to bring it to the Fan Fest, hockey fans have been talking about it, using words like “why?” And “how?” And “huh?!”
Turns out the cheese fountain, debuting for the first time anywhere at the All-Star Game, is about the size of your garden variety chocolate fountain found at many wedding receptions -- roughly the size of the Stanley Cup.
Trophy that it is, the cheese fountain is placed on a pedestal with a giant sign that reads “LIQUID GOLD” towering over it, which is just begging for a confused old Tennessee prospector to run in and steal it.
Here’s a closer took at the cheese:
(Yes, we were this close to going Augustus Gloop on that thing ...)
About the cheese. We asked the Velveetans running the operation if, in fact, the fountain began as a constant stream of boiling water that they had to dump several hundred packets of powdered cheese into to create.
They said no.
Instead, Velveeta reports that the fountain “consists of a special proprietary cheese blend using Velveeta. The recipe was specifically designed for this fountain for this event for display only purposes only.”
Which is lawyer speak for “stick your tongue in this at your own peril.”
Which, by the way, you can’t. Or any nachos. Or any hot dogs, chalupas or fries. All you can do is take some silly pictures with the fountain and enter a contest by posting them to social media and explaining they you want to win the Liquid Gold Fountain for your next party.
Yes, that’s right: You can have this mama-jamma at your next party, provided you add the hashtags #LiquidGoldFountain and #Contest.
Maybe they'll even let you wear one of these sweet cheese jerseys:
— Greg Wyshynski (@wyshynski) January 28, 2016
So if you’re at the Fan Fest in Nashville, do stop by the Velveeta Cheese Fountain, which really needs to be seen to be believed.
And for those of you who couldn’t make it to the game, here’s some cheese porn:
As they say in hockey: top cheddar, all the way.
Now let's all say a prayer that someone doesn't mistake the Dallas Stars mascot for broccoli and stick his head in the fountain.