What in heaven's name has happened to Tom Brady?

You know, I think we can all agree that the offseason is way too long. It leads to players with too much time on their hands getting in trouble. Sometimes it's with the law, sometimes it's with their own team, and sometimes it's ... whatever the hell this is.

Yes, Patriots fans, that's your beloved Tom Brady, sporting a fauxhawk and bright red pants, along with a faint help-me-or-kill-me glint in his eyes as his beloved wife Gisele embraces him victoriously. Note that Brady does appear to be getting away with improper use of the hands, however.

This was from Saturday night in New York City after the Kentucky Derby, a day on which Brady was also spotted wearing a peculiar hat:

Seriously, it's probably best for Bill Belichick to get Brady into some sort of team minicamp RIGHT NOW. This has reached crisis level, though it's been brewing.

Here, we present the evolution of Tom Brady:

College Boy Tommy (circa 1999)

Clean-Cut Tommy (circa 2004

Crew-Cut Tommy (circa 2006)

 Shaggy Tommy (circa 2010)

Nerdy Tommy (circa 2012)

Alfalfa Tommy (circa 2013)

[Tip of the fauxhawk to TBL]

____

Jay Busbee

is a contributor for Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at jay.busbee@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter.

Follow @jaybusbee