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The Fifth Coming of Clipboard Jesus: Colts sign Charlie Whitehurst off waivers

ben rohrbach
Senior writer

He is risen.

Charlie Whitehurst, whose luscious locks and career as a backup quarterback earned him the nickname Clipboard Jesus, will be omnipresent on the sidelines of Indianapolis. The Colts claimed him off waivers.

The Tennessee Titans cut Whitehurst when they activated rookie running back David Cobb off injured reserve. He hasn't thrown a pass in earnest since starting for the Titans in a loss to the Colts in the final week of last season. In 2014, Whitehurst made five of his nine career starts over 10 years, completing 56.8 percent of his passes (105-of-185) for seven touchdowns and two interceptions. He owns a career quarterback rating of 87.4 in 21 appearances for the San Diego Chargers, Seattle Seahawks and Titans.

Whitehurst is the age of our lord — 33 years old for those of you counting at home — which makes him a relative whippersnapper compared to current Colts starting quarterback Matt Hasselbeck. Indianapolis desperately needed a backup behind the 40-year-old, since Pro Bowl QB Andrew Luck is expected to miss 2-6 weeks — and possibly more — with a lacerated kidney and partially torn abdominal muscle.

Whitehurst and new Colts offensive coordinator Rob Chudzinski spent time together during separate stints on the Chargers in 2006 and 2009, but Clipboard Jesus apparently wasn't Chudzinski's first choice.

“I talked to Coach Chudzinski, a guy I’ve got the utmost respect for,” the recently retired Jason Campbell told ESPN 980 on Thursday afternoon, according to The Washington Post. “We were together in Cleveland, spent some time together, and we had some conversations about some things. But as of right now, I told him I’m kind of enjoying what I’m doing right now. And it’s kind of hard just to up and change what I’m doing. And I told him I appreciate the interest and everything … [but] I’m just kind of chilling right now.”

By the way, "I'm just kind of chilling," is the best response ever to a call about whether you'd like to be paid several hundred thousand dollars to wear a headset. Clipboard Jesus doesn't chill. He lives in all of us. When there are no longer two sets of footprints behind Colts coach Chuck Pagano on the sidelines, it will be because Charlie Whitehurst is carrying him. At least, that's a legitimate possibility right now.

For the record, my computer keeps auto-correcting Whitehurst to white horse, and we should all probably consider that a sign from above, since the Book of Revelation's chapter 19, verses 11-16 informed us:

I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. “He will rule them with an iron scepter.” He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: King of kings and Lord of lords.

Amen. Vegas odds have the odds set for the Colts winning the Super Bowl at 25-to-1. Just saying.

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Ben Rohrbach

is a contributor for Ball Don't Lie and Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at rohrbach_ben@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!