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Usain Bolt likes to play/is not good at playing basketball (VIDEO)

Usain Bolt dunks in New Zealand in 2012, but that country's upside-down so it doesn't count (Getty Images)

On Thursday, the NBA announced the participants in the Sprint NBA All-Star Celebrity Game, which is that contest on Friday night that absolutely nobody watches because it’s one of two days in the regular season that we get to take a break from NBA basketball. It’s typically a borderline unwatchable affair filled with bad jokes and bad basketball, even though this year’s roster is rife with unintentional comedy potential. I mean, look at this lineup:

[…] the celebrity rosters will include actor Kevin Hart, rapper Common, R&B singer Ne-Yo, actor Nick Cannon; actor Josh Hutcherson; and ESPN radio host Ryen Russillo.

The teams will also include former NBA players Dikembe Mutombo, Clyde Drexler, Sean Elliott, and Bruce Bowen; and WNBA stars Tamika Catchings and Maya Moore.

I’ve heard of some of those people, I used to listen to one of those people back when he did podcasts, Nick Cannon is hilarious, and Dikembe Mutombo is Dikembe Mutombo.

[Related: NBA announces participants for All-Star Saturday night events]

Usain Bolt is also on the roster. The Jamaican sprinter and six-time gold medalist would seem to be a fascinating and compelling watch, something we were denied in 1984 when the Chicago Bulls drafted but did not sign the legendary runner Carl Lewis. The world’s fastest human playing a sport predicated on speed and athleticism. Dribbling around Ne-Yo, even.

And then, early on Friday, The Basketball Jones’ Trey Kerby had to go and ruin the whole image for us. Watch Usain Bolt stink up the court shooting around after a German playoff game in 2012. Watch:

That was a year ago. Hopefully he’s learned how to not shoot three-pointers toward the top of the glass and miss dunks by now.

In case you were wondering, Usain Bolt is also not a very good driver. From BBC’s Top Gear:


Usian Bolt on Top Gear by ShopinJA

And here’s a shot of Usain Bolt with the 2008 Boston Celtics.

Usain Bolt has been in the same room as Sam Cassell (Getty Images)

Game’s in a week, Usain, please practice. And put on some pants, Kendrick Perkins.

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