Create-a-Caption: ‘Let me see what they’re saying about my goatee’

We're saying we hated it, Austin Rivers. Every last one of us. Grab a razor. Borrow one from your dad. Let's get this thing taken care of, like, immediately.

In the extraordinarily unlikely event that the Duke star turned No. 10 overall pick of the New Orleans Hornets wasn't hitting social media hotspots to see what we thought about his facial hair, what else might he have been doing? Best caption wins the king of help Austin sorely needed last night. Good luck.

In our last adventure: INTO THE PAST! Like Will Ferrell's John Rocker, Karl Malone bow hunts.

Winner, D.: LeBron reads "The Hunger Games" before playoff games; Karl Malone lives it.

Runner-up, Larry B: Jehovah's Witnesses don't bother much at the Malone Farm.

Second runner-up, Jerry Wu: "I got a little something something for you, Rodman."