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Charles Oakley confirms that he has a head, and hates the modern NBA
In the 1990s, after an opponent had shot the first of two free throws, Charles Oakley would rebound the ball (make or miss) hold onto it for a few seconds, say something to the referee or a teammate, prior to giving the ball back to the ref. It would delay the game, plus it was super annoying and hard to watch.
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In the 1990s, the 6-8 Oakley would often guard the opponent’s best frontcourt scorer; partially to save teammate Patrick Ewing the foul trouble, but mostly because Oakley was so darn great at it. He would also play a physical brand of defense that would wear on both the opponent, and the referee – with the ref eventually giving up on whistling Oakley for the same sort of contact that most other NBA forwards would receive fouls for. It was super annoying, and hard to watch at times.
Twice in his career, Oakley played on teams that averaged the fewest possessions per game that season. His teams routinely ranked amongst the slowest in the league, and amongst those that were the best defensively per possession. His best team, the fantastic 1993-94 New York Knicks, held opponents to just 91.5 points per game while ranking first in defensive efficiency. That was an impressive, championship-worthy group of players that also supplied the league with the lowest number of NBA Finals viewers in years, despite the team’s major market appeal. Fans just did not like watching their style of ball, successful though it was.
This is what makes it all the more laughable that Charles Oakley would drop this nugget while visiting Toronto on Friday, in acknowledgement of his own bobblehead doll night:
''Who do I like watching? It's hard to watch,'' he said. ''I don't know, it's just, it's a different game. It's some good games and a lot of bad games. More bad games than good games these days.''
"The mind is not -- you don't have to be strong to play this game no more," he said.
"I don't know what it is. They just roll you out there like a basketball. That's why ... you see the same teams in the finals or winning 55 games. Strong teams, strong-minded coach. Just the players, they don't think it, they don't know how to play together," he said. "So that's one of things I see the weakness is: Communication, the guys don't love the game. They play the game, but they don't play with their heart."
OK, Charles. We’ll forget the fact that just four franchises won every NBA title between your 1987-1998 heyday.
The current Conference leaders in the NBA feature two teams from Golden State and Atlanta that haven’t topped their particular conference in decades. The Miami Heat made the Finals four straight years because they featured the best player in the NBA, and the Cleveland Cavaliers should be the Finals favorites in the East this year for the same reason. San Antonio has made two straight Finals, to be sure, but that outcome may have turned out differently had stars from Oklahoma City not been injured during the 2013 and 2014 postseasons. NBA fans aren’t exactly yawning through the same cast of characters working into May and June every year.
Also, as it is with most people that complain about the modern NBA (see the comments below), people that claim to prefer an older brand of slow-down ball usually aren’t actually watching the NBA games they complain about. And those people are really missing out.
The New Orleans Pelicans feature a player in Anthony Davis that just put up a 36-point, 14-rebound, seven-assist, nine-block game for a team that will likely win over 45 games and still miss the playoffs in the loaded West. The Miami Heat when healthy may feature the most fearsome starting five in the East, and they may also still miss the postseason. Teams in Utah, Boston, Indiana and Denver are playing their tails off in spite of the fact that most gave up on their season months ago. Hard fouls still exist, and Joakim Noah walks amongst us. The NBA is set to see its salary cap rise in upwards of potentially $25 million in 2016 just because television networks want to pay so much to own the rights to televise NBA basketball. The Atlanta Hawks, working in a city that was notoriously indifferent to them until recently, may soon sell for $800 million, and that’s less than half of what the Los Angeles Clippers sold for in 2014.
As Albert Burneko of Deadspin pointed out, part of Oakley’s distaste for the modern game might stem from his lone season working as an assistant coach for one of the dreariest teams we’ve ever had the pleasure to have flipped away from: Charlotte’s 2010-11 collection of Bobcats. That team, cobbled together by Oakley’s good buddy Michael Jordan, was a miserable collection of talent that was coached by Larry Brown.
If you’re counting at home, that would be two 1990s relics (Brown, especially, as Jordan seems to have loosened the reins a bit in Charlotte) who would prefer that you not shoot a three-pointer. Two relics that probably pine for the days when fossils like Oakley, Mark Jackson or Charles Barkley could stand around for 15 seconds before pointing to where the illegal defense occurred.
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If Oakley’s modern NBA frustrations had to do with watching the Toronto Raptors, then we can kind of understand it. The Raps turned in perhaps their best defensive effort in months in downing the Miami Heat in full view of Charles on Friday night, but this has been a rather dispirited group of late due to injury and overuse. The Miami Heat, similarly frustrated with their inability to stay healthy, often look the same way. It’s a long-ass season.
Then again, it’s impossible to truly get in the head of someone like Charles Oakley. After all, look at what he told the press after being asked if he thought he’d ever have a bobblehead night:
''Well, I had a head so you never know what could happen.”
Indeed. Indeed.
The NBA, unsurprisingly, continued apace in light of Oakley’s comments.
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is an editor for Ball Don't Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at KDonhoops@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter! Follow @KDonhoops