While I've always struggled to understand the allure of autographs as a whole, I can admit there are certain items that it'd be cool to have signed. A certain baseball card, a limited-print lithograph or maybe even a home run ball that you snagged in the bleachers one day.
However, I will never quite grasp those who grab the nearest available item — a napkin, a bar receipt, a square of toilet paper — and insist that a celebrity sign it. I mean, if you're not even a big enough of an Elvis Andrus fan to know that the Texas Rangers shortstop wears Nike cleats, why would you want him to sign your dirty old adidas sneaker?
So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?
Follow the jump for winners from our last C-a-C, featuring a Met in a sticky situation.
1st — Andrew S. "I call it hustle, the hipsters in Williamsburg call it post-modern performance art."
2nd — Mr. Jones. "You guys keep forgetting how to spell my last name? Here! I'll just stamp it on the wall for you all to see."
3rd — Mulvi. "Everyone has their own Sleep Number."
HM — Shawn. "The Mets use Kirk Nieuwenhuis as the 9 to display the answer in today's guess the attendance."
HM — Bryan Vargas. "Someone didn't get the memo that they moved the fences in."