Buzzing The Net’s first annual CHL import draft all-name team

To be honest, perhaps seven people in the entire world can comprehensively evaluate the Canadian Hockey League import draft with any authority.

Very little of the process actually involves simply drafting the best available player for straight-up hockey reasons. Junior hockey teams working through various contacts and channels to line up an arrangement with a player it believes is interested in reporting to training camp and playing in either the Ontario, Quebec or Western league.

What it does have is names, names that, to North American ears, sound like things we like. Or lend themselves to puns and nicknames. Obviously, one of the reasons the CHL no longer allows teams to draft goalies from Europe is because people were having too much fun referring to then-Barrie Colts stopper Mathias Niederberger as Niederburglar and former Ottawa 67's star Petr Mrazek as either Mrazzle-Dazzle or Mrazician. Hockey is only fun if you're being deathly serious about it.

The import draft took place on Wednesday. Here's the best names.

Centre: Alexander True, Seattle Thunderbirds

One of the stars in the HBO series True Blood is Scandinavian actor Alexander Skarsgård. That's probably not specifically why the T-Birds drafted a Scandinavian forward, but it puts one in mind of how great that show is, so it's a great pick. Alexander True, whom Seattle took with the 48th pick, has size and hails from the same program once graced by Portland Winterhawks star Oliver Bjorkstrand, who overcame having an un-catchy name to score 50 goals last season.

It is almost three months until the puck drops on the WHL season. Plenty of time, then, for Seattle-area hockey scribes to stockpile puns.

Left wing: Petrus Palmu, Owen Sound Attack

Pint-sized Petrus Palmu, that diminutive "dynamic" dervish! Awesome alliteration, Attack!

Owen Sound used its choice on a fleet Finnish flash who is said to play bigger than his listed size, which is 5-foot-6 and 158 pounds. Petrus Palmu just has a ring to it.

Also, moments after Palmu was selected, this happened.

Former Owen Sound GM Mike Futa is now an exec with the Los Angeles Kings, which has one of the NHL's droller (and trollier) Twitter accounts. The Attack has a lot to live up to. It didn't disappoint:

Right wing: Semyon Krasheninnikov, Tri-City Americans

If you squint like someone who is forever forgetting her/his glasses, it looks like Krushelnyski. Nostalgia trips for everyone; the cost goes down with every five people who register. Plus the "Krash the net" wordplay will write itself. The Americans scored only 176 goals across 72 games last season, so they could use some of that.

Defence: Jakub Zboril, Saint John Sea Dogs

There must be at least one Z name on the list; that's an arbitrary rule I made up just now. Plus any surname ending in il makes one think of Dimoxinil, a fictional hair growth drug that Homer Simpson once took to (fleetingly) cure his baldness.

In that episode, having hair made Homer seem more dynamic and energetic, and he gets a promotion (albeit briefly). Saint John is hoping that adding the 17-year-old Zboril has the same effect on its power play.

That was totally not a stretch.

Defence: Artyom Vladimirov, Peterborough Petes

Vladimirov, at least to certain North American eyes, looks like a longer name that has been compacted. It's like one of those 8-bit sports video games where players' names could only be eight or 10 characters, so Vladislav Mironov.

Time will tell if Vladimirov can help the Petes turn their home rink into a "Thrillho" for their fans.

Sixth attacker: Egor Popov, Acadie-Bathurst Titan

The European goalie embargos leaves room for one more forward who, presumably, will have to block a lot of shots.

It was an agonizing call between the Titan's Popov and Lethbridge Hurricanes selection Pavel Skumatov. In the end, since Bathurst was dead last in scoring in the Quebec League, it was rewarded for their honesty in adding some Pop to their lineup.

Neate Sager is a writer for Yahoo! Canada Sports. Follow him on Twitter @neatebuzzthenet.