L.A. Galaxy more miss than hit in season-opening win over Chicago Fire

Major League Soccer's most anticipated season yet kicked off between the defending champion Los Angeles Galaxy and the Chicago Fire on Friday night. And the league's 20th season, which very nearly didn't start on time because of a labor dispute, started off with, well, a whimper.

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The Galaxy won 2-0. And that's really all there is to say about it.

So we won't bore you with our blazing-hot take. Because we don't have one. Nor will we burden you with our takeaways. Because there aren't any.

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We got so bored watching this game that we thought we'd see if we could remember enough French from high school to write just how craptastic it all was in another language. Ce match etait tout a fait merdique.

There.

Anyhow, if you insist on trying to glean some kind of meaning from the meaningless, how about this: It seemed that the newly Landon-less Galaxy still have the requisite pieces to sustain their three-titles-in-four-years dynasty, and that the Fire still aren't very good, mostly because of a leaky defense.

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The Fire bungled and bumbled through their first road trip of the year, playing and defending so poorly that they gave bundles of chances away. The Galaxy, however, were so rusty in front of goal, missing one sitter after another, that it took more than an hour before Jose Villarreal put Jeff Larentowicz's blunder away, and another 15 minutes until Robbie Keane rifled home his volley.

If the Galaxy had been half-decent at making soccer balls go into soccer nets, they'd have won 6-0. But they weren't. So we were robbed of a scoring spectacle. Or anything else worth watching.

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Three hundred thirty-nine games remain this season.

All of them will be better than this one.

C'est la vie.

Leander Schaerlaeckens is a soccer columnist for Yahoo Sports. Follow him on Twitter @LeanderAlphabet.