Monday Musings: More stupid questions for Bill Belichick

I'll get to Bill Belichick in a sec but first...

Are you kidding me?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Some guy in California jumped out of a plane at 25,000 feet without a parachute and survived. He did it on purpose, too. Jumped from a plane without a parachute - which, no, he did not forget - and aimed for a net that measured approximately one hundred feet by one hundred feet. And he hit it. 25,000 feet, no parachute, tiny net (video below). His name is Luke Aikins and he seems reasonably sane. Except for the small matter of jumping from a plane, 25,000 feet above Simi Valley and aiming for, you know, a pretty damn small net in the grand scheme of things. "I'm almost levitating," Aikins said moments after the jump. Almost levitating, he said. Because if he could levitate, that would make this feat a lot less thrilling. As it is, this should give overhyped sports announcers pause to reconsider the phrase "can you believe that?" when a guy scores a scissor kick soccer goal or lays out for a one-handed grab in football or spins 360 degrees on a successful basketball dunk. All great but all fairly usual. And remember, when those guys come down to earth after those plays, they do it from a lot less than 25,000 feet.

New England Patriots' head coach Bill Belichick has never been one for embracing niceties while being forced to take questions from what he seems to consider gunk from Darwin's pool filter - also known as sports reporters. As Patriots' camp opened in Foxborough, Belichick handed us a viral vine when he disgustedly uttered "Jesus Christ" under his breath after a reporter asked him about the chances of Patriots' fill-in quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo keeping the job when Tom Brady gets back from suspension.

Belichick's response actually seemed appropriate considering he'd already basically answered the question before shaking his head and rolling his eyes as if to say ... well, "Jesus Christ," actually.

Here are ten other possible questions for Bill Belichick that could have elicited the same response. Might even be less likely to have him answer with snark:

"Coach, would you ever consider going clubbing with Rob Gronkowski?"

"Bill, does an all-female cast for Ghostbusters have you thinking of voting Republican?"

"Should a good coach consider modernizing practice methods with Pokémon Go inspired drills at all?"

"Coach, you've always been able to balance your locker room despite the egos. What would you do to bring Taylor Swift and Kanye West together?"

"Ginger or Mary Ann?"

"Have you ever, ever considered punting on third down? I saw it in a Canadian game on ESPN last night."

"Bill, who do you like in the Olympic dressage competition in Rio?"

"Do you think that if Trump becomes president we'll finally find out what happened at Roswell in 1947?"

"Who would you rather have play you in a movie about Deflategate; Oliver Stone or a CGI altered Rob Lowe?"

"Why isn't Tom Brady starting the first game?"

THE LITTLE THINGS

Seriously. 25,000 feet. No parachute.

What a time to be alive. The Olympics start this week, NFL training camps are open, and the back-to-school advertising season is about to fully flower. Most importantly, Los Angeles Dodgers' legendary broadcaster Vin Scully's perfectly soothing voice can be heard simultaneously while you view an adorable baby:

Quite a week for Scully as the Dodgers stayed in the thick of the National League West race and he met Fleetwood Mac:

That picture has me wondering what it would sound like if Scully did a dramatic reading of the band's "Big Love." Imagine Vin doing his thing with these lyrics:

"Lookin' out for love, in the night so still. Oh, I'll build you a kingdom in that house on the hill. Lookin' out for love. Big, big love."

The Blue Jays dealt prospect pitcher Hansel Rodriguez to San Diego, getting outfielder Melvin Upton and cash in return. I've always thought that when a player is dealt, along with cash, he should show up with that cash in a briefcase.

Pokémon GO is not yet available in Brazil, so it's a no-go in Rio. Pity. Having Pokémon GO players wander out into venues could have really added an element of danger to events like archery or javelin. Memo to the International Olympic Committee: The Race Walk is perfectly suited for morphing into a Pokémon GO event if you're looking to cash in. Which you always are, of course.

Shaking my head. No parachute. 25,000 feet. Small net above the desert floor. I'd love to be at a table of thrill seekers who are all telling their tales of big waves caught or white water tamed when they turn to him and ask "so, what's the coolest thing you've ever done, Luke?"

Toronto Argonauts' receiver Vidal Hazelton met Snoop Dogg last week and handed him a jersey. This photo of colliding worlds leads us to this week's internet login password suggestion: SnoopHazelDogg21.

BUT SERIOUSLY

It's getting awfully tough to play defence in the CFL.

Using video replay in an attempt to get as many calls correct as possible is a commendable effort but it is also leading to a lot of frustration from defensive backs and fans alike.

I'm not talking about those illegal contact penalties that come away from the play, over on the other side of the field, either. Heck, no matter where you are on that field, you've got to play by the rules so don't wrestle with a receiver when he's past the five yard contact zone.

I'm referring to the pass interference calls that happen in bang-bang fashion. The ones that look like well-timed break ups by defensive backs when you first see them and maybe even still do when you look at the first replay. Problem is, the power of high def video allows booth officials to slow down these replays and go pretty much frame by frame to see if the defender arrived a split - and I mean split - second before the ball got there.

I'm with the lobby that says if you have to slow down a replay that much to actually see if contact was made a millisecond before the pass arrived, it ain't pass interference. It's just really good coverage.

If it's that close, CFL video officials should run the play at full speed one more time and ask themselves: Do I really need to split that hair?

A good, almost perfectly-timed, defensive play is more pleasing than an automatic first down via penalty.