Canadian Olympic Committee adds to BuzzFeed’s reasons to root against Canada; we follow suit

The Sochi Olympics are less than 100 days away, and the cross-border trash talk is already beginning. Last week, BuzzFeed's Matt Kiebus came up with "16 Reasons To Root Against The Evil Canadians At The Winter Olympics"; now, the Canadian Olympic Committee has responded. Asif Hossain, a community editor with the COC, posted a rebuttal of "16 more reasons for Americans to root against us at the Winter Olympics" on the COC website Tuesday, and he has some good ones, including references to The Great Maple Syrup Heist, -re versus -er, Ross Rebagliati and toques. We can't let BuzzFeed and the Canadian Olympic Committee define the only reasons to hate us, though, so in the spirit of Canadian generosity, here are five more photographic talking points for Americans.

1. We put our goalposts at the front of the end zone.

(This can make things a lot more fun, though, especially when the posts are used to set a pick.)

2. In Canada, drinking can get a hockey team suspended, but not a crack-smoking mayor.

(Wearing a 1995-96 NFL tie with a prominent Redskins logo apparently isn't a suspendable offence, either.)

3. We're responsible for the vast majority of model-train-based cross-border marijuana smuggling.

You say Trailer Park Boys wasn't a documentary?

4. No one can beat us at the important things.

I mean, if we were as polite as we're supposed to be, we'd share some of those asteroids, eh?

5. Chicago's problems are our fault:

Without Canadian intervention, after all, it would be a perfect city for game-throwing hockey players, tainted meat producers and bank-robbing Santas.

See, we can be helpful, eh! And if you really need more reasons to hate us, we'll just get Jon Montgomery to pop out a few more of those "I Am Canadian" parodies. But wait? You say there are actually hateable things from Canada?

Okay, but everyone makes mistakes with halftime shows, and we vowed to never do it again, right?

Oh. Oh no. We'll just be over here crying into our maple whiskey if anyone needs us...