The Wreck Of Tim Hortons Field

(Hamilton's latest stadium news prompted me to do this. With sincere apologies to Gordon Lightfoot. Sing along!)

The legend lives on, from the Box J Boys on down
Of the stadium they call Glitchee Gimme
The deadlines, it's said, just wind up as dead
In Hamilton, nothing comes early

To hear the fans roar, 24,000 more
Than Tim Hortons Field would hold empty
Was a good goal and true, but just a bone to be chewed
Given December ice storms and flurries

Ivor Wynne was the pride of the Hamilton side
A place they held three Grey Cups in
But it had to go, it was older than most
CFL teams don't want fields well-seasoned

Concluding some terms with masonry firms
Meant January saw builders appealing
And later this year, the newspapers rang
The move to McMaster they were feeling

Stories on the wires made a tattletale sound
When news broke the Ticats were bailing
And the reporters knew, and the fans sure did too
Games at Ron Joyce would leave them reeling

The next move came late, and the fans had to wait
To see where the team would keep crashing
When Aug. 16 came, it was McMaster again
With beer not allowed in the grandstands

If Tim Hortons Field does in fact open up,
It may be too rough to feed you
But fears of the upper west bowl caving in
Mean they may not be able to seat you

The team wired in, they had bad news come in
And Labour Day may be in peril
And if it won't work, this fiasco will look
Like the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

Does anyone know where the Ticats will go
If the Labour Day opening sours?
The searchers all say Rogers Centre ain't okay
And Ron Joyce is used by McMaster

They could go back to Guelph, but that might capsize
It's a plan that might not hold water
As alternatives go, it's not a great one
Thanks to congestion from moving in daughters

Lake Ontario rolls, and the waterfront sings
Despite its lack of a stadium
The East Mountain, Burlington and good old Moncton
Are all doing fine without sportsmen

And farther below, Infrastructure Ontario
Takes what the contractors can send her
And the building proceeds, but it goes rather slow
And Ivor Wynne's only remembered

In the offices down on Jarvis they pray
Near the Canadian football cathedral
That somehow the stadium will open on time
And the team won't be wrecked by this field

The legend lives on, from the Box J Boys on down
Of the stadium they call Glitchee Gimme
The deadlines, it's said, just wind up as dead
In Hamilton, nothing comes early.