What will be this season's #FailForNail or #NoWinninForMacKinnon?
Granted, a good hashtag to describe a draft lottery-bound NHL team which is giving off the tanking vibe can't be planned or workshopped; it should happen organically, like when 13 Hollywood programming execs start off with a singular vision of a show where Titanic meets Frasier.
On the other hand, though, the beginning of the NHL's silly season is reminder that all of a front offiice's best-laid plans — the Toronto Maple Leafs giving Tyler Bozak five years and $21 million is something else entirely — can go terribly wrong. In the spirit of the thing, there's a nettle to get way out in front and start brainstorming. Doing so on July 5 when the 2014 draft is 51 weeks away is probably way too early, but it's important to be earnest. Plus there's always the off-chance one of this might catch on by some point early in the new year, although given this author's run of luck lately, more likely not.
Sam Reinhart, centre, Kootenay Ice (WHL) — Incorporating the playmaker's first name rather than his last is conducive to both the brevity-be-the-soul-of-wit thing and Twitter's 140-character format. So it is #SinkForSam, #StinkForSam or #SuckForSam? A meeting in the middle between the baby-earses or the world and those who just have to work blue seems like a reasonable accomodation. You could do a play on the Ice star's surname such as #RottenForReinhart. That might be Ted Mosby-calibre overthinking.
William Nylander, left wing, Sodertalje (Sweden) — #NoWinsToWill neatly turns around the phrase 'will to win' and it is not as wordy as #NoGoalsForNylander.
It will be tougher for a Nylander meme to get critical mass since the speedy Swede will be playing in his homeland, where he's regularly been a linemate with his former-NHLer father, Michael Nylander. Being out of sight and thus mostly out of mind to North American audiences means the familiarity factor will be only slightly above that a joke about Ontario university football. William Nylander's exposure could increase around world junior championship time, although Sweden is in the opposite side of the round-robin from the U.S. and Canada.
Aaron Ekblad, defence, Barrie Colts (OHL) — #BadForEkblad. Thanks, Captain Obvious. The alternative is #ErringForAaron. It is unusual for a defenceman to be selected first overall, although Ekblad's 2014 draft preparation ramped up before the '13 draft even finished.
It's not a shocker. You already knew these kids have no time to be kids?
Roland McKeown, defence, Kingston Frontenacs (OHL) — #SwoonForMcKeown seems to be the way to go in the event Kingston's rushing defenceman plays his way into top-3 consideration and builds a case to be the top blueliner on the draft board, in good company with the likes of Ekblad and Chicoutimi Saguenéens newcomer Nikita Lyamkin.
No doubt other contenders will emerge over the long season. That's why it's important to be prepared.
Neate Sager is a writer for Yahoo! Canada Sports. Follow him on Twitter @neatebuzzthenet. Please address any questions, comments or concerns to email@example.com.