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Sochi 2014: What to watch, Day 16 (February 23)
Seriously? You're here? For suggestions on what to watch on Day 16?
You must be here for "Sochi Seinfeld," because there is really only one thing you must watch on Sunday.
Canada takes on Sweden in the gold medal game in men's hockey. 7 am ET, on CBC. You can also see it on Sportsnet, Sportsnet One, TSN and TSN2. I'm sure you get one of those. You're out of luck, though, if you had your heart set on seeing it on PBS, complete with pledge break interruption.
There's a pre-game show at 6 am ET, if you need to get up early to hear a lot of blah blah blahing on "keys to the game" and the like. One of my favourite answers to a question about such things came from Toronto Argonauts' head coach Scott Milanovich, when he was asked by a reporter to name the key statistical categories to look for in an upcoming game. "Score is a pretty big one," he said.
Yes. Drop the puck!!
There are other things to see, today, for sure. Let's not ignore them as the long shadow of shinny completely covers the nation on Sunday morning. Um, of course, those on the west coast will not need to worry about that, as they'll be up in the middle of the night to see this.
The men's 50k cross-country ski event goes at 2 am ET, on CBC. That's a long way, 50 kilometres. Hope there's a snack table set up along the way. Or, better still, a Wendy's ski-thru.
Bobsleigh is the other event you can see before hockey takes over. 4:30 am ET, on TSN. Final runs will lead to, outside of hockey, the final medals of the games being decided. All that yelling, at the start of each run, will wake you up pronto.
The closing ceremony will get underway just about an hour or so after the hockey game has ended. They have a ways to go to top the closer at Vancouver four years ago. Michael Buble and a bevy of leggy Rockette dancers dressed as Mounties? Good luck, Mother Russia. Of course, they may just trot out The Moscow State Chamber Choir again, the way they did at the 2010 Games. Remember that? Good Lord, they could make the theme to 'Three's Company' seem like a battle hymn delivered directly from God.
I absolutely, positively, do not expect Pussy Riot to perform at this thing. Unless they are smuggled in by some burly, personal protectors. May I suggest the Canadian men's curling team? The closing ceremony begins at 11 am, ET, on CBC. I will consider it a complete failure if we do not see a shirtless Vladimir Putin repelling into the stadium while wrestling a bear and blowing Olympic rings with cigar smoke.
Finally, on tonight's Sochi Seinfeld, on 3CP1:
Jerry is incensed when Yakoff Smirnoff performs a number of his jokes at the closing ceremony. Kramer is detained and questioned by authorities when he dances in Olympic Square while wearing one of Don Cherry's jackets. George attempts to woo one of the Dufour-Lapointe sisters. Elaine thinks she can outlast a Russian ski jumper in a shot drinking contest.
And that's a wrap, folks. Do svidaniya!
