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Sochi 2014: What to watch, Day 15 (February 22)
I know, I know.
It's been a long couple of weeks, but we're nearing the finish line. That's when you can collapse like that Russian skier, above, and sleep for a few days straight. Mind you, if you're already spent after watching Canada's 1 - nothing win over the United States in men's hockey, maybe a nice, long winter's nap is in order. Be ready for Sunday, when my "What To Watch" column might consist of only one word: "hockey."
Can't wait. Finally, a chance to pay back Sweden for all those frustrating IKEA builds.
Other than watching that win over the Yanks, today, I wrote a column about Brad Jacobs' dominant win in the gold medal game in curling. Along with Marielle Thompson's win in women's ski cross, it's our second consecutive two gold medal day. Hey, that's a double-double! Know how we all love those, eh, Canada? (Side note: What kind of self-respecting Tim Horton's outlet doesn't carry sour cream glazed Timbits?! That's an actual problem I have with the outlet up the street. Never mind all that dumping of the Cold Stone Creamery crap. GET ME MY SOUR CREAM GLAZED TIMBITS.)
Day 16 will be the big one, when all the country stands still. Before that, however, we need to get through Day 15, which will act as a much needed distraction for millions of Canadians looking for a place to spend their nervous energy.
Here's what we've got:
If you want, as a Canadian hockey fan, to flex your feelings of smug superiority, you could always tune in to see the Unites States take on Finland in the bronze medal game. While you watch it, maybe read up on how the British burned the White House during the War of 1812, just for added historical haughtiness. That's at 10 am ET, on CBC.
Snowboarding's back, with both the men and women taking part in the Parallel Slalom races. If it's a true parallel competition, the boarders will never ever come together, ever. So, no hugging after the finish line, people. I'd like to see a parallel universe slalom, where the competitors race up the hill and are all evil, like in that one episode of Star Trek. 4:15 am ET, on CBC.
The women's Mass Start Free Final in cross-country skiing begins at 4:25 am ET, on TSN. With a mass start and all, this could look like when they open the doors for a Black Friday sale at a Florida Wal Mart.
If you simply cannot get enough of The Netherlands winning speed skating medals, well, there's good news. They're gonna get more on Day 15! Their women are favoured in the Team Pursuit, while Canadian men have a chance at bronze in their Team Pursuit. 8:30 am ET, on TSN and CBC. As of this posting, The Netherlands have won 21 out of 30 available medals at the oval. How'd you like to be the guy who didn't win anything, at the team party, when this is over? "Well, I guess I did peak in high school," is what he'd have to be thinking.
The bobsleigh races continue, this time in carpool style. Four man teams rocket down the course and blast right by you as you sit, stuck in bobsleigh traffic, in the lane beside them. I know that Doug from HR, Joanne from accounting and your manager, Scott, are annoying, but if you could only put up with them for this short commute, you'd be a gold medal contender, too. 11:15 am ET, on Sportsnet.
If none of that floats your boat, may I suggest you watch CBC's Steve Armitage call a race involving wind up toys? At the end of this interview on 'This Hour Has 22 Minutes,' he does just that. And, yes, he does make it sound like the "miracle mile." According to CBC, Armitage will have called 295 speed skating races by the time these Olympics close. 295! In case you think he might be a bit of a slacker in his 15th Olympic Games, he called a couple of hockey games on radio, too. Let me just repeat what I wrote about this legendary announcer in my Day 10 column:
If Steve Armitage did a dramatic reading of "The Little Engine That Could," we'd all jump from our chairs at the moment of that little train's triumph and then fall to the floor, a sobbing mess. Gold medal announcing.
Here's what's on tonight's episode of Sochi Seinfeld, on 3CP1 TV:
"Jerry regrets being a tour guide for an obnoxious biathlon coach. George and Kramer get lost when they try to sneak into the cross-country venue through the woods. Elaine thinks Tessa Virtue is hitting on her."
