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Imagining NFL players as Thanksgiving dishes | FFSK

In the FFSK Thanksgiving special, Matt Harmon and you, the people, compare your favorite NFL players to the dishes you probably can't wait to eat.

Video Transcript

MATT HARMON: I'm [BLEEP] killing these analogies.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

It's the Week 12 edition of the "Fantasy Football Survival Kit." But most importantly, it's Thanksgiving week, people. Thanksgiving is a day of people you like, drinking, food, and most importantly for our purposes, football. Those are some of the best things that we have here on the human experience that we call planet Earth.

We asked you all, the people, my people, to compare fantasy players this year to Thanksgiving dishes. And as usual, you all did not disappoint. Let's get right into it.

This first one comes in from @Onearmeddrummer. And I got to tell you, this is one of the best submissions I've ever seen. David Montgomery is burnt biscuits. Looked forward to the experience, was a disappointment due to handling negligence, can't use them yet, but also can't seem to discard them either.

Wow, this is perfect for the David Montgomery style running back that you really always end up having to play because they get the volume, but you never enjoy it. It's never a good outcome. And man, is there anything more disappointing than when you open up that biscuit and you see, on the bottom, [CLICKING], it's a little burnt, it's a little too crispy.

But at the same time, who among us hasn't taken that burnt biscuit because we were that excited for it and just eaten it anyway, just like you're-- you got into playing David Montgomery or these low end RB2 volume backs anyways. You never like it. You're mostly ashamed of yourself. But hey, you have to do it, OK?

Next-- this next one comes in from @portman7387. Terry McLaurin is Brussels sprouts. Harmon tried to tell you how god damn good they both are. I don't think I need to add anything to that.

(WHISPERING) Next. This one comes in from @jwlewis4262-- too long. DeAndre Hopkins is all gravy, baby. And this one makes total sense too because gravy's good on pretty much everything. You could put the gravy on the stuffing. You can put the gravy on the mashed potatoes. You can put the gravy on the turkey and it pretty much just makes everything better, just like DeAndre Hopkins is good with no matter who his quarterback is.

But let's all be honest here. The best thing that you can do with gravy is to put it on the mashed potatoes. Kyler Murray's the mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes are good on their own, right? They were doing just fine. But then you put it on the gravy and psh, you're rocketing yourself into a whole other universe of flavor, just like Kyler Murray has rocketed himself all the way to the top for the quarterback charts this year.

Next-- this next one comes in from @andrewnordmeier. And Jonathan Taylor in most weeks this season is creamed corn. Uck, I'm sorry to get negative here, folks. We were enjoying riding high on all these delicious flavors. And now we got to talk about something that just shouldn't be present on any Thanksgiving spread here.

I know like maybe the idea of it seems good, just like the idea of drafting Jonathan Taylor seemed good. But it's time to admit your mistake. You shouldn't have drafted Jonathan Taylor. You shouldn't have juiced up all those expectations after Marlon Mack went down. And you sure as [BLEEP] should not have any creamed corn on your Thanksgiving. Your gullet can only take so much. You need to save some space for the actually good stuff.

Next, next, next. This next one comes in from @dooloo-- this next one comes in from Dan. Give me a break. Taysom Hill is the tofu turkey that your hipster brother-in-law Chet says tastes just like meat, but everyone gets super pissed off and says that it shouldn't be eligible to be called meat. And they won't shut up about how it should only be officially served as a vegetable. I don't think I have to elaborate on that. That was well done, Dan.

And next-- this last one comes in from @mattharmon_byb. That guy seems handsome. Stefon Diggs is macaroni and cheese. If you left a fantasy draft without Stefon Diggs this year, you're an idiot. If you don't have mac and cheese on your Thanksgiving spread, you're an idiot.

And I just wanted to end on this note for a couple of reasons. One, unbelievable how many people doubted an elite talent like Stefon Diggs coming into this year when the guy is now, you know, a top five receiver in pretty much any category you want to look at. Beyond that, if you are out there and you're not eating mac and cheese on Thanksgiving, I feel like you've missed the boat entirely on this holiday.

That is going to do it for the Week 12 Thanksgiving special. I hope you all out there have a happy Thanksgiving I hope that you've enjoyed whatever you can make of Thanksgiving here in 2020, that you get some good food. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for following with my stupid bull [BLEEP] all season. And let's go push towards the final chapter here of the fantasy football season.